Love You Like a Sister
by TheLyricsAreMyStory
Summary: Set in 1990; Carla and Michelle are growing up on their estate in Greater Manchester, dealing with the struggles of adolescence. Will they be able to figure out the barrier between love and friendship and tackle the strain they face of being teenagers? Narla and Stevelle included in current day, as well as Rob, Liam, Paul, Aidan, Kate and Johnny. Rated T for mildly mature content.
1. Prologue

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Prologue**

 **Michelle PoV**

The bistro was empty, it had gone eleven now and Nick walks back over to our table after locking up. He slides back into the booth next to Carla and puts his arm around her.

"Do you remember when we were like that?" I ask Steve, who is slumped in his chair next to me, still chewing on the stones out of the olives we had eaten one hour previously.

"Like what?" He asks, oblivious to the couple we had been double dating all night.

"Nick and Carla." I persist and he raises his head to look at them. "The start of relationships are the best..."

"Oh well sorry I'll just take that wedding ring back then." Steve rolls his eyes and then places a kiss on the side of my head.

"We're not that early on." Carla retorts, taking a sip of her wine as she does so. "Four months I'll have you know."

"Well I suppose you did go on forever pretending that you didn't have feelings for each other." I shrug.

"I had a girlfriend." Nick points out.

"Yeah but everyone could see through that." Steve takes my side. "It's obvious Erica was just a mask for how you felt about one another."

"She was pregnant Steve." Carla reminds him, but curls into Nick's side all the same, as if marking her territory. "Sorry..." She suddenly realised that she's mentioned the miscarriage and he shakes his head, smiling.

"It's fine." He tells her, kissing her forehead, which she accepts appreciatively.

"You used to hate each other back in two thousand and ten." I laugh, reminding them of when they worked at the factory together.

"I couldn't stand her." Nick informs us all.

"Well you weren't really my favourite person either." Carla turns to face him. "Walking round my factory like you were God's gift."

"Me?" He looks taken aback. "You didn't half remind people you owned the place. Constantly reminding people of the authority that strutted around in six inch heels."

"Mmm... Yeah I know." She gives in, not wanting to have an argument there and then, before turning to me. "Anyway, should we really get started on you two? I don't know, you've been together nine years with a split in the middle and you only got married this year after God knows how many proposals."

"Yeah well, at least I check my men out before marrying them." I respond. "Wouldn't want to end up married to a murderer would I?"

"Did you two always bicker like this?" Nick interrupts.

"We have our moments." I smile, reaching for her hand over the table.

"Ok well now I feel like I'm in the way." Nick retreats, pulling a face at Steve.

"...You know something Chelle never spoke to me about?" Steve pipes up. "Whether these two ever... You know."

"What?" We both stare at him, shock in our faces.

"I have wondered..." Nick chuckles to himself and we turn to look at him instead. "...Oh come on. You've known each other practically all your lives. You're telling me nothing's ever gone on?"

"Ew no!" Carla retorts and I give her a look.

"Excuse me?" I cough and her face forms a smile, which I imitate. Memories of our childhood were not vague, in fact I could remember every second of them because it was so... Eventful.

"You did!" Steve exclaims, pointing at our expressions.

"No we didn't!" I yell at him, slapping him lightly on the arm. "We were just close that's all."

"Very close." Carla nods.

"Like sisters." I add.

"Well that's put me right off my olives." Steve pushes his plate away.

"Look... We were teenagers weren't we Chelle?" Carla sighs. "It was all a bit confusing at the time."

"Tell us more." Nick leans in, clearly very interested in how this story was going to end.

"Don't be having any dodgy fantasies or anything like that." Carla glares at him.

"...Were you together?" Steve comes right out and says it.

"No!" We both defend ourselves.

"Although... Many people on our estate got the wrong end of the stick." Carla reminisces.

"There might have been a few... Little experiments or games played..." I grin and Carla bursts out laughing. "But I loved her like a sister... I still do." 


	2. The Estate

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **The Estate:**

 **Michelle PoV**

Carla Donovan was one of those girls you either love or hate. She was like marmite. Or as her brother Rob would say; 'the smelly girl with one pair of shoes'. She was a reject, but at the same time, a bully. Everyone at school automatically feared her, they feared anyone who grew up on the estate. Stereotypical, but if I hadn't known her for as long as I could remember, I would probably feel the same way.

The same could be said for Rob, her little brother, who was in the year below me, two years below Carla. He could be a snivelling baby at times. I remember when Carla and I stole his action man doll when he was ten. We teased him about it for hours, getting thorough enjoyment out of it but at the same time, I almost felt bad. But that was me all over; I was always the one to give in. Carla on the other hand, she was harder to crack. Apart from this though, Rob was the 'hard-core' year nine boy who all the girls went after. Why? I didn't know. What I did know was that he has had a crush on me forever. Which made me feel honoured _and_ disgusted.

She always tells me about her dreams; to hit eighteen and run away from 'this place'. She wanted to move to LA, even though she had never been. Her ambition was to start up her own company, be the manager of a business and enjoy the life that her mother never had. A life of glamour and style and luxury. However, her school work extended to ink stained note books and flirting with the teachers. I was surprised she hasn't been kicked out yet, maybe the teachers were just scared of her too.

My dreams were different however. Trust me, I still wanted the glamour of seeing my name in lights; 'Michelle Connor - World Famous Pop Star'. But I couldn't deal with the business side of things. I just wanted to sing, I wanted to stand on a stage in front of a massive audience and belt out songs to the entire world. I know, the chances of that happening are about slim to none, but my mother always told me I could dream. I did have a pretty good singing voice, I performed the occasional gig at the local pub in the village. It was pretty grotty and run down, I must admit our area was rather rough, so it can be very intimidating to sing there. I only do a few songs before the rock band come on afterwards, so people probably get bored of a fifteen year old girl doing karaoke. I'm surprised I hadn't been heckled any worse.

Like the supportive friend she was, Carla found all these dreams hilarious. She came to watch me sing from time to time, she could get served down the bar when she plastered even more make-up on and strapped on a pair of heels. Not to mention her flirtatious attitude with the bar staff. She already looked old for her age. She could pass for eighteen without trying. She was tall, with long dark hair and a chiselled face. I have to admit, she was gorgeous, even if she was a bitch a lot of the time.

I was shorter, with a similar hair colour, but it was cut at a shoulder length instead. Unlike my best friend, my mom controlled a lot of my life, with appearance being an important factor. "No hair dyes, minimal make-up and sensible clothing." She would lecture me, not that I could afford these things. I didn't always abide by these rules, which was one of the things Carla and I did have in common; we were rebellious. My mom would drop me off somewhere and I would change into a little black dress and apply eyeliner immediately. Sometimes my brother Liam would help me out, he was two years older than me and was working in a fish and chip shop not far from the estate. He would often offer to walk me places if my mom was unsure and then make up excuses if I was late home. Liam and I got on well, we always had; it was my brother Paul who was the problem.

Paul had completed his first year at college until he failed two of his exams and got kicked out. So now he has been doing an apprenticeship in Business Studies for a few years. Like Carla, he also aspired to start his own business, somewhere closer to home but money was the most important factor. Mind you, he and Carla had a lot in common, she always did go for the older guys, it was a shame it had to be my older brother though. They weren't in a relationship or anything, neither of them were commitment type people. But there was a definite spark there. There had been since they robbed the school safe together in primary school. Always partners in crime them two. They hooked up at almost every party we attended (friendship groups are tight around the estate) and a couple of one night stands was about the extent of it. That was another annoying thing about being friends with Carla Donovan; she has had sex and I have not. The most disgusting thing about it is that it is my brother so that when she babbles on about it for hours, not only do I have no clue what she is talking about, but it also makes me extremely uncomfortable about what she is picturing.

Our estate is made up of two buildings; I live in West block and Carla lives in East block. I arrive outside her set of council flats, which is right next to mine and notice that Carla is not ready and waiting outside like she said she would be. There was no way I was going inside, Greta would be lurking around the staircase with her ordinary stash and I wasn't going to risk taking the lift; it had broken down three times in the last month. Everybody knew that East block was rougher than the one I lived in, but I wouldn't say either really compared to the Hilton Hotel. Instead, I pick up a stone from under a nearby bush and carry out the usual protocol of getting Carla's attention.

 **Carla PoV**

Michelle Connor was one of those girls who was the complete opposite of me, but at the same time, she was virtually the same person. I had no idea why she was slumming it with me when she could be friends with anyone she wanted, but I wasn't complaining, she could be good company sometimes. I was never very good at friends, if I did ever get close with someone, I would soon screw them over by kissing their boyfriend or mouth off to them when I was drunk. I had done this to Michelle many times, but for some strange reason, she was still my friend.

I had known her all my life, as she had lived in the flat next to us before she moved out to the next block along. But I never really associated myself with her until we were both five; she had been playing ball in her living room, throwing it against the wall and catching it again. As you can guess, the walls are very thin in the estate and the noise had been driving me crazy. I guess that's why I still get so mad when she throws the stones up against my bedroom wall in the morning. I had gone round to give her a piece of my mind, only problem was that she was tougher than I had anticipated. We took a liking to one another instantly, although I still found her very annoying and she thought I was arrogant. But you couldn't pick or choose your friends on the estate, if you want to get by, you've got to make allies.

I awake to the sound of drumming on the wall outside of my box bedroom. It was grim; the moth eaten curtains, sheets as thin as paper and a carpet with stains on that I didn't even want to identify. I roll over and open one eye to check my clock. Exactly ten O'clock. Trust Michelle to be right on time.

"Chelle, quit it!" I open the window and yell out of it. She looks up once she sees me staring down at her. I have to admit, she has a pretty good throw; our flat is on the fourth floor of the estate.

"Don't tell me you're still in bed?" She shouts, throwing the stone in her hand at the wall to release anger.

"Just come up." I call down to her. We were going to wake everyone up at this rate and then we would be in trouble.

"I can't." She argues. "Greta's gonna be on the stairs again." Man, she has softened as she's grown older.

"Greta's ill." I tell her. "Rob went to buy the usual stuff and she wasn't there. Went to her flat and returned with a black eye."

I see her roll her eyes and then reluctantly enter the building. Why she was so reluctant, I didn't know. Plus, no one disliked her for some reason, she had a fair few friends, which was more than could be said for me. I jump out of bed and spray myself with tons of deodorant, to cover up for not showering since yesterday. I pull out my tracksuit bottoms, my 'they call me a bitch' T-shirt and a hoodie. I have just enough time to put it all on before my bedroom door flies open.

"Ten o'clock." She snaps. "Ten o'clock you said you would be waiting for me. Now I had to come up here."

"And did you die?" I prompt, giving her the same look I give her every time and she just glares at me.

"I don't care, it smells like piss on the second floor." She retorts, scrunching her nose up at the thought. "You said you'd be ready."

"I am ready." I indicate to my very 'stylish' outfit.

"You're in a tracksuit with no make-up on." She points out. "And when did you last brush your hair?"

"Uh, where are we going? Out on the town? It's not like we're going clubbing Chelle." I reply, angrily. "Besides, you know I only have my sloppy wardrobe and my tart wardrobe." I didn't actually have two wardrobes, I didn't even have one wardrobe, my clothes were stored in two crumpled piles on the floor. I named one of them my sloppy wardrobe, for days when I don't care and the other was my tart wardrobe; for when we were going out somewhere that required ID. My uniform has its own separate pile; in the bin. I tried to get mom to accidentally throw it out so I didn't have to go back to that dump, but it never seemed to work. So instead it was covered in bits of litter and food stains, I probably smelt like a dustbin when I walked around school. Maybe that's why people kept away from me...

"Right, fine." Michelle shrugs, irritated. "Let's go." She grabs my hand and drags me out of the bedroom. I stuff a piece of gum in my mouth to make up for not brushing my teeth.

"Rob, I'm going out!" I yell, unsure of whether he was in or not. I grab the spare key and slam the door behind us. "Anyway, if I look like this, at least you have a higher chance of pulling... I'll still probably beat you though!"


	3. Due Date

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Due Date:**

 **Michelle PoV**

We sit on the brick wall outside of the chippy, sharing a bag of the greasy food that comes from inside. Luckily Liam was doing a shift today so we had been given the leftovers of the last batch for free. He had done this several times, but had to be discreet because he would be sacked otherwise. Carla licked her fingers greedily, taking handfuls at a time so that she ensured she got more chips than me.

"You can slow down you know." I roll my eyes at her. "Here, take them. I have no appetite anyway."

"I haven't had breakfast." She tells me, pulling the chips onto her lap instantly.

"Neither have I." I laugh, for some reason, she didn't embarrass me. I suppose I was used to eating lunch with the tramp of the town. She pauses stuffing her face for a second before sticking her middle finger up at Aidan, who was passing by on his bicycle, dinging his bell as he does so.

"Oh great." She mutters as he gives her the evils.

"He so fancies you." I nudge her.

"Who doesn't?" She shrugs and I would roll my eyes again as if I didn't know it was truth. "Go play with your Barbie dolls!" She yells as he disappears into the distance and I give a slight laugh. Aidan Connor was my cousin, he lived in the same block as Liam, Paul, my parents and I but on the ground floor, with his dad Johnny who was my uncle and his little sister Kate. Their mother had passed away a few years ago and Johnny still hadn't fully come to terms with the loss. He was in year six, at our old primary school, only a few minutes away from the secondary. Carla referred to him as an 'annoying little so and so' and that was when she was in a good mood. But she was right. He could be a pain in the neck. Always wanting to join in with us, I was surprised he had lasted as long as he had on the estate, he was the biggest wimp I had encountered.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I ask as Carla scrunches up the empty chip paper and tosses it on the floor.

"Well I need more fags from the offie." She mutters, counting out her change from her trouser pocket.

"That'll take all of five minutes then." I reply, as we stand up and begin to walk towards the off license. Carla wasn't old enough to buy fags, just like she wasn't old enough to do most things. But with practice she had learnt her way around almost anything. She pauses outside the run down shop before peering through the window.

"Good, Neil's on." She informs me, after clearing a space on the condensation covered window pane. "Here you are then." She hands me the black pouch that always comes in handy when we come here. I strap it round my stomach in preparation. "Baked beans, some of 'em microwave noodles and that cake I like."

"Yes boss." I salute as we head into the shop, I turn towards the back so that Neil couldn't see my belly. I head towards the aisle I was looking for as I hear Carla turn on the charm at the desk.

"One packet of the usual please Neil." She says sweetly as I take a tin of baked beans off the shelf and load it discreetly into my padded pouch that is secured round my stomach. I do the same with the other items and check that my belly looks realistic before heading back to the counter. My hand supporting underneath my newly formed 'bump'.

"Ah, Chelle!" Neil greets me, eyeing up my stomach. "Growing as ever. How long to go now?"

"Oh not long." I giggle flirtatiously. He was completely thick. No one else would ever fall for this. I watch as he hands Carla the fags whilst she tips out the remnants of her pockets and we were off out of the shop before he could even begin to count it out. Once we are round the corner, we lean up against the brick wall and I remove the heavy pouch from my stomach. "Remind me how we're gonna keep doing this when the 'due date' comes?" I raise my eyebrows as she puts the three items into a carrier bag. "I can't be pregnant forever you know."

"We'll think of something." She high fives me after everything is sorted out and then hands me a fag, lighting it swiftly with a lighter I'm sure used to be Paul's.

 **Carla PoV**

I slam the door behind me and walk over the creaking floorboards, carrying my bag of stolen goods. Rob was sat on our sofa in what could be the lounge or the kitchen... It was more a combination of the two.

"Cold turkey?" I snigger at him and he looks up from the _Game Boy_ in his hand. It wasn't his of course, he'd stolen it off some kid in his year when they brought it in for show and tell. Got away with it though, I had to give him some credit.

"I'm not an _addict_." He spits, eyeing up my carrier bag. "What's in there?"

" _My_ dinner." I scoff as I tip out the beans, noodles and cake onto the kitchen surface. "But you can have some I suppose."

"Did you steal it, or Michelle?" He asks.

"Chelle. I got the fags." I throw him one of the strays that have fallen into my pocket and he catches it desperately. "She even kissed it for you." I joke which causes me to receive a glare from him. He pulls a lighter from his pocket and catches it on the tip of the cigarette, not caring that he's smoking in the house. "Any sign of mam or George today?" George was our stepdad, also known as a waste of space. I hated him more than I'd ever hated anyone else, walking in here when he got sick of bunking with his drug dealing mates and pretending he owned the place. I'd had more shouting matches with him than Tom Jones has had comebacks.

"Nope." He inhales the toxic substance before puffing it out appreciatively. "I swear to God if Greta's not there again tomorrow..."

"Yeah well sorry I could only get tobacco." I roll my eyes at him, he could be so spoilt sometimes. "Besides I wouldn't have had enough for weed anyway."

I begin to heat up the beans in the microwave, pulling two plastic bowls out of the cupboard.

"You going to school tomorrow?" He asks me.

"Dunno, maybe." I shrug. "I have P.E. in the afternoon so I'll definitely be skipping that. You?"

"Yeah, 'cause I have a fight with Clyde." He takes another puff of his cigarette.

"How come?" I ask, knowing Rob could take on Clyde any day. He was one of those kids who thought he was insanely hard but actually he got scared of spiders in the bath.

"'Cause he's a twat." He replied bluntly.

"He challenge you?" I lean on the kitchen surface, despite the fact that I hated him, I was still pretty protective of my brother. We could get on well at times and well, he gave me money from his paper round so he wouldn't be as useful if he got hurt. But I knew he would be fine against Clyde, it was when he had his fights with the boys in my year or the one above that I would get concerned.

"Nah, he grassed me up to Miss Locken for putting graffiti on the wall in the toilet." He is looking back down at his game now, playing one-handed whilst the other one held his fag, which was slowly getting smaller.

"Ooh, shit's going down." I giggle and he gives me another look. "Well I'll make sure Chelle is there to watch your victory."

"Oh shut up." He throws a spring at me that he pulls out of the sofa as the microwave beeps to signal that they are ready.

"Seriously though, good luck." I tell him.

"I won't need it." He gives me the same vain smirk he always does when he's loving himself and I drop a bowl of beans down on the counter for him.


	4. The Connor's

**Love You Like a Sister:**

**The Connor's:  
**  
 **Michelle PoV**

I search the cupboards for anything edible that I could take with me to school. I was on a lunch token, so I got three pound credit for lunch as we were on benefits. But I knew that English with Miss Partridge was going to be even more of a drag if I didn't have something to snack on.

"What you looking for Michelle?" My dad called over in his thick Irish accent. My family originated from Ireland, Liam and I had been born here and we were staying on the outskirts of Altrincham until he fell ill, meaning we had to move to the estate. Mum worked as a dinner lady at our old primary school so we were earning a small wage as well as the sick pay dad got, tied with our welfare state.

"Food." I reply, bluntly, turning my nose up at a packet of dried apricots that expired last month. Honestly, you'd think food would be eaten the day it's bought in this house. Obviously not. I stuff them in my school bag and pull on my blazer, kissing dad on the cheek before heading towards the door.

It bursts open as soon as I am about to put my hand on it and it almost flies off the hinges. I was surprised it is still standing after all these years of being bashed around.

"Where you goin'?" Liam stops me, short of breath.

"Um... School?" I raise my eyebrows at him, even though I knew something was wrong. "Remember that place you got excluded from twice?"

"Not on your own you're not." He pants.

"I know, I'm walking with Carla." I frown. "Why what's going on?"

"Deano and Mikey have raided the pub again." He informs me, finally catching his breath. Dean was in year eleven at my school and I knew him pretty well because he'd be down the pub on Friday nights when Carla and I went down there. He also met up with us all at the quarry some evenings. If it wasn't for Carla, I'd have never dared speak to him. He was tough, tougher than most but popular. I was glad to be on his side most of the time if there was a scrap going on. "I think a fight's gonna start with Ben Wilson, he's threatening to call the police. No way are you going round the East block whilst this is going on."

It's at that exact point that I hear Carla's distinctive voice shouting the building down. "Ay! Gimme one reason why I shouldn't slap you right now!"

"I don't think we'll need to go to East block." A smirk at him and we shake our heads as I close the door behind us and we head down the steps.

"You don't have the balls mate! I seen yer, making daisy chains down in the field on Hoyle Street." Her voice gets louder as we get closer to the first floor.

"Always having to get involved." Liam sighs as we spot Carla in her grubby school uniform, long dark hair falling down her back as she strides along the concrete floor, heels clacking as she does so. She's chasing after Ben Wilson, who has a mixture of fear and defiance on his face.

"You think you're so tough don't you?" Ben yells at her, although his voice is wavering. It takes one swing of Carla's arm to knock the phone out of his hand. She bends down in a flash, grabs it and tosses it out of the window and into the distance.

"Don't you ever try and pull a stunt like that again." She grabs his collar and spits in his face. "Got it?"

She pushes him away and he runs off, shamefully. It's then that she turns to face us, eyebrows raised, hands on her hips.

"You never fail to surprise me." I tell her before we are interrupted by yet another opening door.

"What the 'ell is going on here?" Aidan greets as he emerges from his flat, followed by his sister Kate, who was carrying a bright red rucksack on her back.

"Oh fucking brilliant, just what we need." Carla rolls her eyes.

"Right playtime's over kids." Liam sighs, rounding us all up. "School. Now. I'll walk yer."

"Um, I don't need a bodyguard thanks Leebugs." Carla flips her blazer over her shoulder. I knew she didn't mind walking with Liam, despite the fact that they would bicker the entire way there like they always did. "And I'm especially not walking with him." She points to Aidan, who gives her a withering look. "You have to walk ten paces behind."

"Oh grow up Carla." Aidan mutters.

"Why don't you just _grow_?" She scoffs, eyeing him up and down. He was short for his age, but he had a big gob to contrast with it.

"Come on you." I link my arm with Carla's and drag her towards the entrance of the building when we finally hit the fresh air... And by fresh I meant the smell of pee and marijuana. But it was home, all the same.

 **Carla PoV**

As I anticipated, it didn't take long before Clyde was holding his hands up to Rob. About thirty of us were gathered behind the gym to watch, the majority being Clyde's fans... Well not anymore. He stumbles off with his mates, having taken a mighty blow to the shin by Rob's size nine trainers.

"As always, I've come out on top." He smirks at Chelle and I, as people begin to clear the area.

"Don't big your part up." I smack my hand lightly across his cheek. "He's not a tough one to beat."

"I know." He replies, looking at his reflection in a puddle and smoothing his hair down. "Did you see when he tried to go in for a punch and I avoided it?"

"No sorry, I was busy looking at that cat that can't climb up the wall." She points over to where some dirty mongrel was clawing at the brick-work. "Have you seen it?" She shoves her finger in my face playfully and I brush it away.

"Bitch." Rob sighs and then just laughs at her attempts to wind him up. He peers round the edge of the building to check the coast is clear before lighting a fag, flicking his lighter on and off a few times purely just to show off to Michelle. She seemed entertained by his flirting skills, but wasn't offering anything in return.

"I'm skipping last lesson, you wanna come?" I ask Michelle, finally facing away from my brothers vain expression.

"No way, it's music last." She tells me and I roll my eyes. Of course it would have to be music, couldn't be anything else. This would also mean I'd have to go an evening listening to her whitter on about getting the solo yet again in their group piece. I couldn't sing, at all. I actually sounded as bad as Aidan's shriek when I give him a wedgie and trust me that was bad. It was annoying having a friend whose voice was so melodic and beautiful. I wouldn't tell her that of course, I tell her she's alright, just above average. It's good to divert people from vanity; I have to live with Rob. "You obviously have P.E. last then?"

"Ugh... Netball with Kimberly Doyle? No thank you." I hiss. She was my ultimate enemy; pretty, popular, perfect. She had dated Michelle's cousin, Tom Kerrigan briefly when he had visited over the summer. I was good at wrestling and karate and rugby; all those things that girls my age didn't play in physical education. No, for us it was hockey or netball or rounders; things that actually required concentration and grace rather than battering people to pieces. The bell then signals the end of lunch time, meaning I had to leave Michelle and head off to some other lousy class that I would do fuck all in as usual. I kiss her on the cheek and ruffle Rob's hair before waving them off, wading through crowds of pathetic teenagers who thought the worst thing in life that could possibly happen would be for Jason Donovan to have a new girlfriend.

Little did they know, it can get so much worse than that.


	5. The Quarry

**Love You Like a Sister:** **  
**

**The Quarry:**

 **Michelle PoV**

I did have plans to go to the park with some of my mates in my year this evening. However, Carla had called me up an hour ago to tell me, not _ask_ me, that I was meeting her instead.

I check that there's no one lingering outside East block before typing in the code to the door which I knew off by heart and entering the building. I was hoping it was water that was flooding the first floor that in the process was soaking my pumps through to my socks. But it could be any sort of substance. Luckily Greta wasn't sat on the stairs as usual, maybe she was ill again or maybe she's just gone home.

I reach the fourth floor and pace across the corridor until I get to number '69' ironically, which had several erotic images drawn on it in spray paint.

"Oi!" I begin hammering on the door with my fist but to my surprise it opens almost instantly. It isn't Carla who answers the door though, it's George. Shit. "Oh hi."

"Whadda you doin' here?" He spits, clearly already drunk at six in the evening.

"...Carla?" I frown, as if it wasn't obvious. But I knew not to get on the wrong side of him.

"Carla that kid's 'ere for yer!" George yells into the flat, virtually making it shake.

"Let her in then!" I hear her voice faintly and George rolls his eyes before stepping aside, watching me intently as I cautiously make my way into their flat.

"Sharon in?" I ask, trying to make casual conversation with him to cut the awkward silence.

"Is she ever in?" He scoffs. "Nah, she'll be in a gutter somewhere."

I watch as he grabs a half full bottle of whiskey from the table and takes a gulp from it. Luckily Carla then appears from her bedroom, dressed in a surprisingly pristine outfit. She was wearing black leather leggings and a floral crop top, which was very unlike her. She had white wedges on her feet and a denim jacket slung over her shoulders.

"Never seen that before." I frown.

"Not proud." She shrugs. "Stopped by that charity shop in the village."

"And how the hell did you manage to nick all that?" I give a slight laugh, aware that George wouldn't care in the slightest.

"I can do anything me." She winks and then grabs my arm, dragging me towards the door.

"Where the 'ell are you goin'?" George hisses, slamming his whiskey bottle back down on the table.

"Out." Carla responds bluntly, before shutting the door abruptly behind us.

"So where are we going?" I ask her as she links her hand with mine. She did this often, which honestly made us look like a couple. I'm pretty sure most people on the estate think we're together... "I don't think I'm dressed for the pub."

"Chelle do we ever go to the pub on a Wednesday?" She laughs.

"Well how come you're so dressed up then?" I ask and that's when I hear loud music blaring out from the road below us. I peer off the balcony and a black Ford catches my eye in the street. "Ah, that'd be why." I mutter.

Paul's car, brilliant. Another Connor day out where third wheeling is an understatement.

"Hey." Carla flashes him a smile as we reach the vehicle. Opening the door to the passenger seat and slipping effortlessly into it, which left me to sit in the back automatically. After taking a swig of the vodka from his bottle, she kisses him on the cheek flirtatiously and I roll my eyes. She couldn't even warn me that I was going to be dragged around with my brother all evening. We begin to drive off before Carla spots Rob, setting fire to some plants in one of the cul-de-sacs off the main road. "Ay, little bro, get in!"

"I'm busy!" He turns his head, immediately spotting her.

"Yeah looks it." She grins. "Come on, we're going to the quarry."

Oh shit. _The quarry_. Rob hesitates before stamping the fire out and running into the road without looking. He pulls open the other back door and slides into the seat next to me. Ok so now it was more like a double date... A very disturbing double date.

The quarry was about a fifteen minute walk from the estate if you take the short cut, which equalled out to a five minute drive along the road. It was a place we had been going for a few years now. Rob and Carla had been going there since they were about eight, but that's because their mam didn't care about their whereabouts. Paul, Liam and I had to lie about where we were going if we were going to the quarry. Even Paul. It was dangerous; sheer drops and large cliffs, something which Carla found extremely exciting. She told me it was her favourite place on Earth; somewhere she could go to get away from it all. But I never trusted her when we were there, I never trusted anyone, not even myself. Especially as we were nearly always drinking.

It wasn't difficult to tell that today was going to be yet another dangerous expedition, from the vodka bottle that Carla was taking regular sips from. As if reading my mind she offers it back to me and I hesitate before taking a gulp from it, passing it over to Rob. The fiery liquid burns my throat, almost making my eyes water. But I knew what I had to do to fit in at the quarry and that included alcohol and bravery.

I watch as Carla balances her elbow on the rolled down window, allowing the wind to blow her hair back out of her face. She was beautiful, any one could see that. Granted, she didn't help herself sometimes, but when she made the effort, like today, she could be absolutely stunning. But trust me, I knew why she was making the effort...

 **Carla PoV**

The quarry was abandoned, but that was expected for a Wednesday evening, or any day of the week. I slam the door closed to Paul's car and lead the way down the grassy path once he has locked up. I can tell Michelle isn't pleased about being here, she's making small talk with my brother, which she wouldn't usually do unless she was feeling uncomfortable.

"Come on you two." I flick my head backwards to make eye contact with Rob, who unlike Michelle, seems very pleased that it is just the four of us, as it means he's lumbered with the girl he's had a crush on forever. "How much of that have you had?" I ask Paul as he takes another sip of the substance from his almost empty bottle, passing it to me to finish off.

"A lot." He smiles and then nudges me. "But unlike some people I'm not a lightweight."

"Erm, I am not a lightweight thank you very much, plus you shouldn't have been driving. We'll have to drop by Lenny's cabs on the way back." I down the remnants of the bottle, flashing him a flirtatious grin. "Anyway, I could drink you under the table any day of the week."

"Yeah well maybe you should demonstrate that to me sometime." He whispers in my ear, but loud enough for Michelle to hear because she scrunches up her nose in disgust. We reach our destination and I notice that Liam and Dean are already here.

"Ah, Chelle, things are shaping up." I turn to wink at her. "Dean's here."

"Shut up." She hisses at me but I can see the smile she is trying to hide on her face.

"Well hello there Leebugs." I greet him, kissing him on the cheek which he pulls a face at. I can feel Paul's jealousy emanating from behind us. But it's good to keep them on their toes. "Dean."

"Should I be thanking you for Monday morning?" Dean asks me, connecting his fist with mine as a greeting.

"Monday morning?" I question, trying to think back that far.

"Stopping Wilson from calling the police." He reminds me.

"Ah! Yes." I nod in recognition. "Forget about it, walk in the park that was. He's pathetic anyway."

"Well yeah there is that." He grins and then his eyes meet Michelle's. "Hiya Chelle."

She just waves back at him, clearly still in a mood. But at least it was smoothly done.

"You got the sauce?" Liam asks Paul, who produces another two bottles of vodka from his coat pockets. My eyes fall to the stash of schnapps and cans of lager lying on the grassy bank that Liam and Dean had clearly brought with them. I take the bottles off Paul and place them carefully down alongside the others. "Nice to see you made the effort to bring something." Liam directs at me.

"I brought myself, that's all that matters." I tell him, confidently and he just shakes his head, laughing slightly. 


	6. Truth or Dare

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Truth or Dare**

 **Michelle PoV**

I was thanking my lucky stars that Liam was here, I didn't trust Paul as far as I could throw him. But Liam was always the one to be careful with his drinking in the likely event that shit goes down. Paul would look out for Carla, but they were the sorts to go rock climbing after drinking their body weight in spirits. I wouldn't put my life in his hands.

I rest my can of lager in my lap, taking occasional gulps. I didn't even like it, it was a bitter tasting liquid, I was just drinking it to prevent myself from getting off my face on schnapps. Carla was doing a good enough job of doing that anyway, followed by Rob, but he was the definition of a lightweight so it was no surprise to any of us.

We were sat in a circle; Paul next to Carla, next to Liam, next to Dean, next to me, next to Rob, next to Paul. Carla was enjoying being wedged between my two brothers, lulling on whichever of their shoulders she chooses.

"Right, ' _never have I ever_ ' or ' _truth or dare'_?" Dean slurs, finishing off one of the bottles of vodka to use as a bottle to spin.

"There's no point in playing never have I ever." Liam smirks. "Carla's done it all."

"Fuck off." Carla elbows him in the ribs, but giggles in the process. I was thankful Liam had saved us from this one, because Rob and I were the only people who hadn't had sex and I knew that was going to be one of the first questions. I don't know whether Dean is aware I'm still a virgin, but I'd rather it stay that way. "We could always play 'chicken'?" She suggests and I gulp. 'Chicken' was the most daring game to play at the quarry and therefore Carla's favourite. You had to toss a coin and if it landed on the side you didn't bet on, you had to climb to the top of the cliff, right to the very edge and count to fifteen with your eyes closed. This was usually the forfeit if one of us didn't do our truth or dare.

"We're not drunk enough to play 'chicken'." Dean tells her, seeing my worried expression.

"Truth or dare then." Paul shrugs, placing the bottle in the middle of the circle.

"Aren't we all a bit old for these shitty games?" I ask, still nervous of what might come up. I think it must be karma because it lands on me.

"Ay!" Dean laughs at me. "Truth or dare."

I knew that my brothers wouldn't allow me to do anything too stupid, but I wasn't running that risk either way. "Truth." I sigh, resentfully.

"What is... The dirtiest dream you've ever had?" Carla taunts me.

"Carla!" I exclaim, seeing both my brothers burying their heads in their hands. The perks of playing truth or dare with your family...

"You know what the forfeit is." She grins and I glare at her. She knew I would never dare do the forfeit, not that she would let me anyway, she was far too protective.

"Ugh..." I mutter. "I've told Car before, so I don't know why she's so desperate to hear it again." I shoot her a glare. I can see Paul and Liam wincing at what's about to come, whereas Dean and Rob were listening intently. "I may or may not... Have been locked in Mr Kilshram's office after school hours..."

"Go on." Rob is practically shaking with excitement.

"Can't you figure the rest out?" I huff at him and he shakes his head annoyingly. "Well let's just say it was the night I watched _'Secretary'_ so it was based off that..."

"Nice." Rob jeers.

"Oh God no." Liam covers his ears.

"You watched ' _Secretary_ ' on your own?" Paul screws his nose up at the thought.

"No! I was watching it with Carla!" I defend myself, which I then instantly regret.

"Nice." Dean smirks, however at this point Liam, Paul and Rob are all looking slightly disturbed. "Moving on." He spins the bottle elegantly with his thumb and forefinger. I was praying it wouldn't land on Rob because I knew exactly what he wanted his dare to be. However it spins round a few times and lands right back on Dean. For a second I think I might be cursed and it's going to land back on me, but I was safe for now.

"Truth or dare?" Liam asks, taking another sip of the Schnapps he was sharing with Carla.

"Dare." Dean shrugs. He wasn't one for playing it safe, I'm pretty sure he'd be willing to do anything. I wonder what daring stunt Liam is going to get him to do before my thoughts are cut out immediately.

"Kiss Chelle." Liam replies. I freeze instantly, his words caught in my mind.

"What?" I look up, once I had processed what he had said. I'm thinking I have time to contemplate this, but Dean has other ideas. He places his hand under my chin and tilts my head to the side, meeting his lips with mine. It's warm and surprisingly sweet considering we've all been drinking. I let him lead as he massages his tongue against mine, teasing it. I could tell he was experienced in this, but I wouldn't say I was an amateur at kissing either.

"Ok!" Liam shouts over us, which drags me back to reality. "Go behind a bolder if you wanna go any further... Although I highly recommend you don't."

I wipe my mouth defensively and can feel Rob angrily at my side, pretending that he's found it just as hilarious as the others. I glare at Liam before spinning the bottle again, as Paul's arm falls over Carla's shoulders, she doesn't shake it off, she just leaves it there.

It lands half way between Carla and Liam, but Dean makes his own decision on who it landed on.

"Liam!" He jokes, getting revenge. "Truth or dare."

"Don't be a pussy Liam." Paul teases, knowing he was concerned about what Dean was going to dish out for him in return.

"Fine, dare." He shrugs as if it doesn't fuss him.

"Kiss Carla." Dean bursts out laughing, as does Rob, however I can see Paul, Carla and Liam all tense up at the thought.

Carla and my brothers was a risky subject. Because no one was strictly an item, she liked to flirt with both of them. But Paul was always the one who would get the action. It was only me who had picked up on the atmosphere between Carla and Liam... It was different... It was complicated... It was something that was resolved by constantly arguing with one another. But at the end of the day, she was the only person except for me that he would put his life on the line for.

 **Carla PoV**

For the first time in ages, I am speechless. Shit. I had never kissed Liam before. I wasn't going to say that it hadn't ever crossed my mind. But it was something that seemed forbidden; purely because of Paul.

But now the words had been said. Here I was, Paul's arm tightening around me, Liam at my side.

"Well get on with it then!" Dean urges. "Honestly she's not that bad, trust _me_ , is she Paul?"

"No." Paul replies bluntly and removes his arm slowly from my shoulder.

"Ehem." I cough slightly and I catch Michelle's eye. She understands. She gets it. Only she can see through me.

"Right well then..." Liam mutters, turning to face me. I meet his eyes; a pale grey colour. They dart from my eyes to my lips and then back to my eyes. I give another cough as if to say 'get it over with'. I wasn't moving in, that was his job.

It's the slowest anyone has ever kissed me. With me, it's usually a case of _'we're pissed, so I'm gonna take advantage of you'_. Boys were usually rough with me, even Paul. But Liam was different. He was gentle. He was careful with me. He places his hand on the side of my face and I feel the warmth of his palm on my cheek. I suddenly realise that I don't want to stop. This is the most appreciated I have ever felt. The warmest I have been enabled to feel. His lips massage my lower one, tongue flicking against the opening of my mouth. I am desperate to let out a sigh, to move in closer, to feel his tongue against mine.

But it's over, because we both know we have to stop now. It takes all my strength to pull away and I can feel how reluctant he is too. I stare at him for a few seconds once we have parted, as we both steady our breathing.

"Right well..." Dean's eyes are wide with amusement. "That was... Steamy."

I feel Paul tense at my side with the mention of the word, my breath in my throat as I glance across at Michelle, who is biting her lip, her eyes darting from Liam, to Paul, to me. I still feel his lips against mine, pulling me in, making me feel alive and somehow I don't think I will ever forget it...


	7. Assumptions

**Love You Like a Sister:**

_**This begins to refer back to the conversation Rob and Michelle have when they are at the hotel together in 2012. Rob mentions that 'Davie Tuttle' has a fourteenth birthday party so thought I'd put it in!**_

**Assumptions:**

 **Michelle PoV**

For once Carla was actually coming to West block to collect me. But that was because there was a group of boys doing cocaine on floor two in her building and she didn't want to risk me coming near them. Despite this however, she was already ten minutes late. I was hoping it was because she was slapping more make up on her face and she hadn't got caught up in another argument.

It was yet another Friday we were spending down the pub. I was glad to realise that Paul was out at a mates tonight so he wouldn't be joining us. Meaning I wouldn't be stuck with some sleazy bloke whilst Carla and him popped off for a quickie. I lean up against the wall, breathing a sigh of relief at the thought, before the door in the hallway swings open.

Carla enters, dressed up for her night on the town; black mini dress and stilettos, dark purple lipstick and her hair falling free over her shoulders. She doesn't even bother to knock, much to my mother's dissatisfaction.

My mother didn't like Carla, never had and I'm pretty sure she never will. Although, then again, there were very few people who did like Carla. She'd warned Paul off her several times, telling him he deserved a well behaved woman, one who worked hard on their studies, cooking his tea every night when he gets in. Yes, she was very 1900's driven. But that's the way she was.

Carla of course was the opposite of this. Despite wanting to slack off and marry a rich bloke, she had other ideas than to sit around brewing tea and cleaning the toilet. No, she wanted maids, personal shoppers, chauffeurs, the lot. So why she was placing her bets on Paul I didn't know, surely his future wasn't that bright. He'd been kicked out of college after all.

"Mrs C." Carla greets my mother once she claps eyes on her.

"Carla..." She eyes her up and down with disgust, observing her skirt length... If you could call it a skirt. "Nice of you to drop by."

"Here to pick up Chelle." She doesn't make the effort to be a charming goody-two-shoes like my mother wishes, but I wouldn't expect her to.

"Where are you going?" Mum inquires, not withdrawing her eyes from my best friend.

"To the-" Carla begins.

"Bowling." I cut in and Carla nods in realisation.

"Dressed like that?" She screws her nose up at Carla's outfit and then turns to my slightly less slutty one. I was dressed in a white lace skirt and black vest top, wearing stilettos with a slightly smaller heel than Carla's. "You know you have to wear flat shoes at the alley."

"Yeah but it's Laura's birthday so we thought we'd make an effort." I make up a random name, thinking it a good idea to choose the female gender.

"Who's Laura?" Mum interrogates me.

"Our friend." I sigh at her constant questioning. "She's in my year."

"I've never met her." She continues.

"Yeah, I wonder why." I roll my eyes. "Look, can I go please?"

"Back by midnight." She hesitates before ushering us out of the door. I shut it behind me and link arms with Carla.

"Your mother is honestly the most annoying person I've ever met." She groans and that's when I notice an envelope sticking out from under the doormat with my name on.

"Yeah well I don't think she's too hot on you either." I tell her, picking the letter up and opening it.

"Love letter?" Carla lets out a laugh. I pull the piece of paper out of its envelope and throw the rubbish down on the floor. "Davie Tuttle."

"Ew! You have a love letter from him?" She pulls a face.

"Birthday party." I assure her.

"Ohh." She nods. "Well that's not fair, he hasn't invited me."

"Have you ever spoken to him?" I raise my eyebrows.

"I may have... Slapped him once or twice." She mutters, searching her mind for any encounters she may have had with the boy who prods me in the back during maths class. He was actually in the year below me, but he had been moved up a year in maths because unfortunately he was too clever for the year nine group. "No wait! I have spoken to him; when I put his bag in the bin on his first day of year seven."

"...That'd be why then." I prompt her, smiling all the same.

"Well..." She ponders, scanning the piece of paper up and down. "Invite or no invite, if there's a party, I'm there. He should know that by now."

I link my arm back with hers as I shake my head in disapproval. She was right though, Carla Donovan wouldn't miss a party for the world.

 **Carla PoV**

I endure the usual regime of leaning up against the bar, pulling my dress down to show my cleavage and pressing it up against the chipped wood. It was busy in here as expected of a Friday night and by busy, I meant rough. Michelle and I had to stick together to prevent either of us getting taken advantage of. Despite my attempts, most people in here knew I was under-age, as did the bar man, but they also know who I am, so they let it slide.

"Two vodi and tonic's Harry." I order once the bar man has finished serving someone else. He doesn't hesitate before turning away and making our drinks. I hand him the money I've counted out to the penny and carry them back over to where Michelle is perched against the window sill on a stool. "Dull as ever." I tell her.

"Yeah well you would be working here wouldn't you?" Michelle shrugs, taking a sip of her drink.

"Oh great. Look who's over there." I point my straw towards the corner of the room where Kimberly Doyle was sat with a group of lads.

"Well don't say anything to her." She grimaces, knowing full well I wasn't going to let this slide. She never came in here; she was way too posh for places like these.

"I'll bet she's here to wind me up." I say through gritted teeth, as I see Kimberly flick her hair back and lock eyes with me.

"Believe it or not Carla, I don't think everything's about you." Michelle sighs, clearly annoyed that our evening had already gone to pot.

"Oi!" She suddenly yells and we both look in her direction. "Carla Donovan. Shouldn't you be too busy beating up little kids to be in here?"

"Original." I mutter, but not bothered in the slightest by her response. It didn't matter to me what Kimberly said, I hated her with every bone in my body and so I'd got used to her constant sniping and bitching. Actually I was used to that from most people. What bothered me was the fact that now several people had turned to look at me under the accusation that I hit little children. I only hit people if they crossed me and right now, Kimberly was crossing me.

"Leave it." Michelle warns me.

"I'm chill." I turn to her and grin. "Drink your drink." She takes another sip of her beverage, eyeing me cautiously and wondering why I didn't retaliate before raising her head to notice who has just walked through the door. I follow her gaze and notice Dean greeting people as he approaches the bar. How he had the guts to show his face in here after the raid the other day I didn't know.

"Ey up." I hiss at Michelle, who turns to look at me instantly.

"What?" She mutters, pretending to check her nails are in shape instead.

"Oh don't try that with me." I nudge her, seeing a smile slowly form on her face. "You saw him the second he walked through the door."

"Only because he was in my eye line." She shrugs.

"...Did you enjoy your kiss the other day?" I tease her.

"I don't know, did you enjoy your kiss with my brother?" She retaliates.

"Which one?" I bite my lip flirtatiously and she shoots me a look. "Hey now I've had all three of you." I smirk. I had got off with Michelle many times at parties, which wasn't making our reputation any better on the estate.

"You're a nightmare." She shakes her head at me. "But I love you for it."

"I know." I giggle, kissing her on the cheek as she brushes me off. "Ey, he's coming over."

I watch her casually brush her hair behind her ear as he approaches us.

"Hey." Dean greets us. "I cool to sit with yer?"

"No, fuck off." I wink at him and for a second I think Michelle thinks I'm serious because she gives me a sideways glance.

"Had a good time at the quarry the other day." Dean tells me, although I know it's aimed at my best friend.

"Yeah, especially for some people." I hint.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Michelle exclaims, finally engaging in our conversation. "Besides, I think you enjoyed it more than anyone else."

"Yeah not gonna lie Car, that kiss with Liam was... Something." Dean smirks. I just sit there in silence, hating on Michelle for bringing up the topic of Liam. Although I knew I'd deserved it. I was going to change the subject but the slut in the corner decided to do it for me instead.

"Ey! Dean, I'd stay away from her." Kimberly yells and he turns, not realising she was there. Michelle rolls her eyes and then grabs my arm to prevent me making a bigger scene. "Or are you enjoying third wheeling the two dikes?"

I exchange a look with Michelle, anger brewing in my fists. As untrue as it was and as much as I could handle Kimberly's childish comments, no one brought Michelle into this.

"Ok shut up you." I yell at her and the pub falls silent at the sound of my voice.

"Ooh, sorry did I spill your little secret?" She giggles, high fiving one of the guys she was sat next to. "Michelle, I'd get out of that relationship as soon as possible... Actually it might be too late, she's already turned you into a poverty-stricken tart."

I stand up immediately, Michelle tugging at me.

"You don't bring her into this." I hiss. "You hate me? Then you can insult me all you like."

"Oh trust me I will." She laughs. "I'll insult you all I like when you're bashed to pieces."

"Ey?" I frown.

"You want to have this out? Meet me outside the chippy, Monday evening, bring your fists." She proposes.

I can't help but break out into laughter. Was Kimberly Doyle actually asking to fight me? The girl who cried if her lipstick broke or her nails chipped.

"You're challenging me?" I scoff, through fits of laughter.

"Watch me." She spits and I nod.

"See you Monday then." I look her straight in the eye, grabbing Michelle and pulling her towards the door.

"Off they go." She continues to yell after us. "Back to their shithole to have some privacy. Make sure mummy and daddy aren't in... Oh wait no I forgot... Daddy's never in is he?"

"I swear to God I'm gonna swing for her." I scream, running at her before Chelle grabs me by my arms and pulls me back. Turning my head aggressively to face her.

"Don't." She whispers. "Don't give her the satisfaction Carla, it's what she wants."

"...Yeah it's what she'll get." I mutter, storming out of the pub before she could say anything else. "Are you ok?" I ask Michelle once we were outside.

"Tough as old boots me, you know that." She replies and I nod, even though we both knew it was untrue. I don't hesitate before pulling her into a hug, a hug that lasted for what seemed like forever.


	8. Letting the Walls Down

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 _ **A/N: The inspiration for this chapter was taken from a recent episode, where Aidan is talking about the first fight he watched; Carla vs. Kimberly.**_

 **Letting The Walls Down:**

 **Michelle PoV**

"Why don't you decide to be the bigger person for once?" I sigh as I trudge down the road after Carla, kitted out in her scruffy clothing ready for a fight.

"I _am_ the bigger person, hence why I'm gonna beat her." She grins at me, she didn't look in the slightest bit nervous despite the fact that Kimberly's side of supporters would be far bigger than hers.

"You could end up in Juvie if you carry on the way you are." I remind her, as I did every time in these situations. "You better not be doing this for me."

"Don't flatter yourself. Besides I avoided Juvie once, I can do it again Chelle." She tells me as we approach the chip shop. I was surprised Kimberly had turned up; I could see her smoking with her mates, leaning up against the brick wall. "Ugh... Just look at her."

"I see you've brought your girlfriend then." Kimberly yells as we reach the shop. "Where's all your other fans... Oh wait, you don't have any..."

"Get this over with." Carla rolls her eyes, throwing her hoodie on the floor. I count the fourteen people who have accompanied Kimberly to the fight, meaning I would have to stand alone, looking like an idiot as ever.

Why didn't I just pull out? If I wasn't friends with Carla life would be so much simpler. But there was something tying me to her. I had a connection with her that I'd never experienced with anyone else and I couldn't let that go. Not now, not ever.

"Oi!" I spin around at the sound of a familiar voice, watching as Aidan comes swaggering towards us. "What's going on 'ere?"

"Oh Aidan fuck of will yer?" Carla gives him the finger.

"Nah I wanna watch this." He grins, eyes full of excitement. He comes to stand by my side and I pull a face at him, I would prefer to stand on my own than have him next to me. "This is my first fight." He nudges me.

"...You've never seen a fight before?" I ask him, unenthusiastically. "You do _live_ on the estate right?"

"Yeah, I've seen bits of them out my window, but dad never lets me out if he hears of one goin' on." He babbles.

"...What a sheltered life you must lead." I grimace at him.

"Are they violent?" He is virtually shaking with hyperactivity.

"It's Carla." I mutter. "Course they're violent."

"Do they last long?" He persists.

"Aidan shut up." I spit, angry that I was again spending my afternoon with the pair of rejects from the estate.

"Go!" One of Kimberly's friends yells and I immediately see a blur of colour in front of me. I was surprised to see that Carla's opponent was actually relatively strong, but it wasn't any use because within two minutes she had her on the floor; Carla sat on top of her, holding her wrist flat against the concrete.

"You done yet? Ay?" I hear her spit in her face. "How would you like to get that pretty little face of yours smashed in?"

"No." Kimberly panics, desperation in her voice, suddenly realising what a huge mistake she'd made taking on my best friend. "Carla I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Yeah you'd best be." Carla hisses, debating whether to give her a good punch in the face before letting her go. I think she's ending it as she retracts herself from her body, but before she can completely rid herself of her, she issues a heavy blow to Kimberly's stomach, which leaves her gasping. Carla stands, dusting her hands off as her opponent keels over on the floor. "Well that was a waste of time." She shrugs, coming back over to me, not a mark on her except for two bleeding scratches on her face where Kimberly had clawed her.

"Go Carla! Go Carla!" Aidan yells at the top of his voice which receives some pitying laughs from Kimberly's friends, who's being helped up by two of them.

"Shut it you little prick." Carla jeers at him. "What are you even doing 'ere?"

"Dad's at Kate's parents evening." He informs us.

"Yeah well you're not hanging out with us." Carla grabs my arm and pulls me off back towards the estate.

"Off to go and kiss in the bushes are ya?" He sneers and I spin round instantly.

"Ey!" I yell at him. "Enough of that!"

"Yeah yeah." Aidan smirks. Carla seems to find it hilarious, laughing her head off. "I've heard what everyone says about you two."

"Yeah, well it's bullshit." I retort.

"Don't give him the satisfaction Chelle." Carla whispers in my ear and I try and brush her off. I turn to face her, there was a glint in her eye. I knew that look.

" _Carla and Michelle sitting in a tree_." Aidan whitters on and before he can continue Carla's pulled me in, kissing me again. No tongues, it was just for show; I had been here way too many times but I didn't pull away for her sake. Once she retracts herself, I raise my eyebrows at her. I turn to look at Aidan who is staring at us in shock, bewilderment in his eyes.

"Never seen two girls kiss before?" Carla teases, taking my hand in hers and swinging it playfully. "Come on then. _Lover_." She drags me off, leaving Aidan alone, too shocked to move.

"You need to stop doing that." I hiss at her. "No wonder we have a reputation."

"Got rid of him didn't it?" She grins at me and I pull out a wad of bog roll that I stuffed down my bra, I always equip myself when Carla was off to a fight. "Mmm, kinky."

"Will you stop it?" I give her a slight slap, laughing with her before raising my hand to gently wipe the blood from her cheek. "Stay still." I keep my eyes focused on cleaning her face before I notice she's staring straight at me, her face suddenly serious.

"...I don't deserve you." She mumbles, my eyes suddenly widening. She never said anything like that, it was always teasing and boasting and giggling. Unless she was letting the mask slip, which she only did in front of me...

"Shush you." I smile at her, throwing the blood coated tissue down on the floor. I hesitate before placing a kiss on her other cheek, squeezing her hand.

"Seriously Chelle. Thank you." She whispers.

 **Carla PoV**

I sit cross legged on my bed, fiddling with one of the friendship bracelets Michelle had given to me when we were little. I was on a low again, I didn't know how and I didn't know why, but it had hit me and it had hit me hard.

"Carla!" I hear George's voice yell but ignore it. "Carla gerr'out here now!"

I hesitate before hauling myself off my bed and yanking my door open.

"What?" I scream, not in the mood for a lecture.

"We got another ASBO 'cause of you." He slurs, he was sat at the table reading a yellow sheet of paper.

"How do you know it was me?" I lean on the door frame.

"Fight outside the chippy?" He finally moves his head to look at me, anger in his eyes. "Who else is that gonna be?"

"Um Rob?" I suggest, even though it was blatantly my fault. "Besides, it wasn't even past curfew."

"That doesn't matter you stupid girl!" He raises his voice, banging his fist on the table. "You gon' get us a reputation around 'ere."

"I think we already have a reputation." I scoff, daring to play him at his own game.

"Yeah 'cause of you." He hisses, he was drunk and angry, but I was fast and could dodge him easily when he tried to lunge for me. "You're a waste of space! Sharon should never have given birth to you!"

For once, I'm shocked at this. He said things like this often but never had he sounded so serious, so genuine. I knew I'd done it this time. I stand frozen, staring him down, not having time to move when he grabs me by my throat and pins me up against the wall. He did this occasionally when mam or Rob weren't in but I was never going to admit that he scared the life out of me when he did so.

"Why don't you shut yer mouth for once ay?" He spits in my face, the smell of alcohol on his breath. "...Else I'll do it again."

"Ey!" I hear moms voice and he lets go of me instantly. I put a hand over my throat and turn to look at her, panting. "What the devil's going on in here?"

"Your pissin' daughters got us into trouble again, hasn't she?" George screws up the piece of paper and throws it at mam violently.

"Oh, for fucks sake Carla!" She yells exasperatedly. "Why can't you just be a normal child?"

"That's rich, coming from you." I scoff. "Why can't you just be a normal mother?"

"Don't you dare insult me like that." She lowers her voice before barging straight past me.

"So it's ok for you to insult me but not the other way round?" I spit and she turns on me, drunk and raging.

I am saved by the loud knock on the door which causes George to freeze in position. At first I think perhaps it is the police; overhearing the noise or coming to arrest mom for stealing what looked like a bottle of cheap rum that she'd brought home with her. I take the liberty of quietly removing myself from the room and approach the front door. I pull it open to find Liam standing there, concern in his eyes.

"What do you want?" I ask, rudely, my heart still racing from my argument with my stepdad.

"...You ok?" He suddenly frowns, softly stroking the scratches on my face without warning and I shiver at his touch.

"Get off me." I push his hand away defensively.

"...I heard about your fight." Liam sighs.

"Yeah so, what's new?" I glare at him, but he could tell something was up because my breathing still hadn't regulated.

"Dom told me it was quite a scrap." He tells me. Dom was Liam's boss in the chip shop, who had got used to seeing me beat people up outside, so no longer bothered to try and prevent us from gathering there.

"Yeah well I hate her." I respond, defensively. "She got what she deserved."

"And you've got another ASBO so I hear." He sighs.

"Who are you? The neighbourhood watch?" I yell, going to slam the door in his face but he stops it with his foot.

"Carla." He speaks softly and I'm trying so hard to fight back tears because I didn't want to cry in front of Liam, I didn't want to cry in front of anyone. I drop my hand from my neck in a moment of anger and his eyes widen when he sees the red marks from a few minutes before. "What's he done to you?" He indicates towards the hallway where we can hear muffled voices from inside, knowing he shouldn't risk trying to touch me again.

"Just the things I'm used to." I shrug it off and then dare to look him in the eye. He knew I was lying, he knew he had hurt me. "I'm fine. Liam. Just go away."

"Fine?" He laughs slightly. "Could almost be your middle name that."

I stare at him angrily, forcing myself to remain strong. But something inside me is crumbling, this was a bad day. This was a day where I needed to sit in the dark with my pillow and cry. On my own. I never cried in front of anyone except for Michelle. But I can't withhold them this time, a tear slowly slides down my cheek and I brush it away quickly, still trying to salvage any strength I still have.

"Come here." He whispers, pulling me in and I don't bother fighting it. He slips his arms around my back, kissing the top of my head. I hate myself for being so weak. I was supposed to be strong. I was supposed to be the toughest girl on the estate. I guess I could add Liam to the short list of people who had now seen my true colours...


	9. Staying the Night

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Staying The Night:**

 **Michelle PoV**

"Look who's here." I hear Liam's voice and emerge from my bedroom. Carla is stood at his side, holding an overnight bag, hair draped over her face. She'd been crying, I could tell because her mascara had smudged and if Carla had been crying, something was seriously up.

"Sweetheart what's happened." I walk over to her taking her bag and dumping it on the floor. I wrap her in a warm hug which she doesn't retract from for several minutes.

"What's going on?" I hear mom's voice as she enters the hallway from her bedroom. "...Carla."

"Hi Mrs Connor." Carla clears her throat, yeah, something was definitely up because she'd just greeted her relatively politely.

"Carla's um... Staying the night." Liam informs her and I watch her face fall with disgust. Her eyes dart from me, to Carla, to Liam several times.

"Liam, can I talk to you?" She grabs his arm childishly and pulls him into the living room. Despite the closed door, walls were thin and we could hear every word. "What do you mean she's staying here?"

"Look, she needs somewhere to spend the night, she's in a state." Liam's voice is muffled but we can both still interpret it.

"Yeah so I can see - when's she not in a state?" Mom scoffs. "Anyway, that's not the point, over my dead body is she staying here."

I glance at Carla, who is doing her _'this is fucking awkward'_ face.

"Look, Chelle, I'll just go." She picks up her bag, turning on her heel.

"Err, no you won't!" I grab her arm, pulling her back. "What's going on missy?"

"Just stuff..." She shrugs, avoiding eye contact with me. I could tell she was embarrassed about letting Liam see her cry.

"Come here." I take her hand and lead her into my bedroom. Which I must admit was a lot nicer than Carla's but I wouldn't say it compared to Victoria Beckham's. Being the youngest in the family, I had the smallest room. Although Liam and Paul had to share a larger room as did my mom and dad, so I was glad to have my own space. I close the door and sit her down on my bed, crouching down so that I was below her. I knew this is how to get through to her because she didn't like it when people were above her level; she liked to feel like the powerful one. "Hey?"

"It's just George and... He's being a twat as usual that's all." She shrugs and I can tell she's fighting back more tears.

"What has he said to you?" I ask calmly.

"Just you know... The whole I'm a waste of space routine." She mutters, still trying to keep her walls up. "Mom shouldn't have given birth to me, all that shit... Well, not shit... It's the truth."

"Carla." I stop her, firmly emphasising my words. "No it's not."

"He just knows how to push my buttons that's all." She sighs, letting a tear slide down my cheek and not clearing it away.

"...Did he hurt you?" I dare to ask, my voice weak when I say it. The thought flashes through my mind with the hope that the response would be 'no'. But instead she stays silent. "Carla. Did he hurt you?" I persist, stronger this time and she finally looks up to meet my eyes. I see the tears glistening in them, her desperation, her pain, her weakness. I don't need to ask again. Instead I sit beside her on the bed and pull her into my lap, stroking her hair back out of her face whilst she cries. She finally cries. Her tears soaking my jeans. "You don't do this enough darling." I whisper to her.

"That's because I can't." She mumbles.

"You can baby." I tell her.

"I can't!" She yells, sitting up abruptly, my hand pausing in mid-air. She stares me straight in the eyes, panic in her expression, tears streaming down her face. I nod at her, gently, it was like trying to show a wild animal that you weren't going to hurt them. My eyes move to the faint bruises on her neck, Kimberly hadn't done that. I knew who had. She could tell I'd seen them, but it didn't alarm her. "I don't know... Anymore Chelle... I can't think... Sorry."

"What's brought all this on?" I sigh as she slips her head back into my lap hesitantly.

"I've just sunk again." She whispers, reaching out and clenching my duvet in her fist. "My mother doesn't care about me, he's right. She doesn't love me Chelle. Whose mother doesn't love them?"

"She does!" I exclaim, although I was beginning to doubt it myself.

"If she did, she would act like a mother to me..." She mutters and I notice her rubbing her wrists slowly. This is what scares me. I don't want her going down that road again. "My stepdad wants me out, he makes it clear I'm not wanted and that I'm worthless. I wake up every day, put my clothes on, paint my face on, say goodbye to them if they're there. But I'm never me. Not anymore. Only _you_ know me Chelle. My mother doesn't even know who I am." She raises her voice again now, sitting up. "I have to be strong all the fucking time and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of not being allowed to cry or to show any sign of weakness. Of having to pretend to be someone I'm not. I can't do it anymore! I can't live in that flat, with them, with all the lies and the hate and the secrets." She punches the bed hard with her fists and then does it several other times until she's having a complete meltdown; yelling and screaming and kicking. I let her do it, I sit back and allow her to cry, getting her anger out because I knew she couldn't do it anywhere else. Then when she slows, I move forward, kissing her on the forehead.

"Carla. Calm down." I whisper into her ear, rocking her back and forth as she cries into my chest. "It's ok. You're ok now."

I don't know how long I hold her for, swaying gently, telling her she'll be alright. But I didn't mind, if it was calming her, it was calming me.

 **Carla PoV**

I wake suddenly. Shivering, not because I am cold, but because I am scared. I have no clue of the time, I turn to look at my battered old alarm clock but then notice it's not there. Where the fuck was I?

I sit up quickly, realising I wasn't even in my room and that's when I feel somebody next to me. For a second I think maybe it's Paul, maybe I'd got drunk and fallen into bed with him again.

"Hey." I hear a voice and jump suddenly.

"Chelle?" I panic, reaching out and feeling her hair. I was in her bed, not Paul's. My eyes finally adjust and I notice her staring up at me, head on the pillow next to mine. "Oh... You scared me."

"Sorry." She smiles. "Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?" I ask, fazed and confused.

"Yeah you had a few drinks babe." She whispers. "Well, you brought a bottle with you and said we were sharing. Didn't turn out that way though."

I search her face for more answers, trying to make sense of the situation. Trying to salvage any memories that there were of last night. My hand falls upon my cheek, which was sore. I remembered all of that; the fight, sitting on the swings with Michelle afterwards, going home and... My fingers slip down to my neck and I see my best friend gulp at my realisation. She reaches out and takes my hand in hers. Without hesitating I move down to lie on her chest, concerned I may be crushing her, but she just folds her arm around me.

"What's the time?" I ask and she turns her lamp on to check her watch, which is lying on the shelf above her bed. We both wince at the light that floods into the room.

"Six." She sighs, throwing it back down on her bed. I felt like pure shit; my head was banging, I'd had little sleep and I had school today.

"Chelle?" I mumble.

"Mmm." She hums, sleepily.

"...Can we skip today." I ask her and she exhales slowly.

"Carla..." She whispers.

"Please." I beg her. "I can't go to school."

There is a long pause as she thinks about it, massaging my scalp to relax me.

"Alright." She sighs and then links her fingers with mine. "Ok, but we're following my rules."

We lie there in silence, comfortable silence for a while, thoughts surging through my head.

"...Where will we go?" I finally speak and I hear her laugh slightly into my hair.

"We're not running away Carla." She reminds me.

I wish we were. I think to myself. But I may as well have said it aloud because she knows exactly what I'm thinking. 


	10. Let Her Go

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Let Her Go:**

 **Michelle PoV**

I'd had to put on my best Irish accent when calling up the school to inform them that _'Michelle Connor won't be in today as she's coming down with a fever_ '. But it had paid off, which I was relieved about.

Carla didn't have to go to the extremes I did when skipping school; she just didn't show up and when they sent a letter home it was thrown straight in the bin by Sharon, along with several other bills and overdue payments.

I had dressed in my uniform and said goodbye to my parents, under the expectation that I was off to school. But I wasn't. Instead we were heading to the quarry, which is somewhere I really didn't want to risk going to when we didn't have the safety net of the boys. But I knew we wouldn't be found out there. Plus, Carla said she didn't want to drink, so I was hoping we'd just sit there talking all day.

"You don't mind doing this do you?" Carla asks me, linking her hand with mine and I shake my head, not that I had a choice anyway. We had waited behind the estate for a good half an hour before emerging, so that there wouldn't be any kids out to grass us up to the teachers.

"So, what are we going to do today?" I ask her, swinging our arms ever so slightly. She just grins at me and leads me behind the bushes towards the grassy cut through that leads towards the cliff edge. She breaks into a run, still grasping my hand and I am forced to run after her. "Slow down!" I yell, through laughter, my hair flying behind me. "Carla, I'm gonna trip up!"

"Live life on the edge will you?" She giggles. "Literally." She stops once we reach the bank and lets go of my hand to walk dangerously close to the edge. I let her go. I watch her as she stands looking out into the distance, breeze in her face. This was her safe spot, as unsafe as it was. It relaxed her, it made her feel normal.

I check my watch; ten o'clock. Although the clouds drifting past the icy blue sky could have told me that. The sun was low in the sky and I was glad I had brought my thick coat with me because the winter air was refreshing but freezing.

"You asked what we were gonna do." Carla snaps me back to reality when I realise she's walking back over to me. She picks up her bag and empties it out onto the floor. Out falls an old picnic blanket, a packet of biscuits, two sets of cheese sandwiches in plastic, a big bag of chocolate, popcorn, crisps and a bottle of lemonade.

"How did you..." I try to muster, my mouth opening a few times in confusion.

"You didn't think I really went to give Rob his keys did you?" She raises her eyebrows at me, clearly proud of herself.

"You stole all this?" I scold her, actually rather irritated that she stole items that weren't essential.

"No." She stops me. "I bought it."

"Yeah..." I nod, sarcastically.

"I did Chelle. I promise." She defends herself. "I took a tenner with me to your house, it was my book money that I was supposed to give to the school library a few months back."

"...And you spent it on this?" My face softens slightly. "How did you even fit all that in your bag."

"I have my ways." She spreads the blanket on the grass and a packet of fags falls out of it. "Ok, I stole them from Rob." She shrugs and I just smile at her, getting up off the rock I was sitting on to lie down next to her.

"Do you remember the last time we had a picnic?" I ask her, my eyes steady on her face, which was covered by her long dark hair. "It was a summer years back and we'd raided our cupboards for food, taking it down to the park."

"Yeah I remember." Carla nods, nibbling on a biscuit and turning to face me. "We weren't even teenagers yet. We took a half full bottle of ketchup from your cupboard thinking it would come in useful."

"Well I think most of it came from my cupboards." I remind her. "...That was a good day though."

"Yeah, aside from those out-of-date barbecue chicken skewers." She winces at the thought. "I don't think that hedge will ever forgive us for throwing up in it."

"Ah well... Can't please everyone." I giggle, knowing full well that we couldn't, not by a long shot. But it didn't matter to either of us, as long as we had each other.

 **Carla PoV**

"Come on then, your turn." I grin and she holds her mouth open whilst I chuck a piece of popcorn straight into it. "Ey! That's a million, nil to me."

"Oh shut up." She bats me away. It was getting dark now, it was almost the end of November and so light faded at about four O'clock. "We should head back soon." She sighs, as if reading my mind.

"I don't want to." I shake my head and she looks at me sympathetically. I could stay here forever, in fact, I'm sure I'd be doing most people a favour by doing so. I wasn't even cold even though the air was chilly. We were sitting facing each other with the blanket draped over our crossed legs. I let out a reluctant sigh, picking a piece of popcorn up and throwing it off into the distance. I watch it, as it flies over the edge of the cliff, my eyes moving to the view to the side of us. Grassy banks, grey boulders, trees sticking out at odd angles. Further ahead you can see the very edge of Manchester; the glistening lights emitting from tall buildings. The quiet rush of cars can be heard vaguely in the silence of the quarry. I feel Michelle's hand as she reaches out to take mine, clearly aware that I was lost in thought. But she didn't interrupt me. Instead, I kick the blanket off and turn to lie down next to her, she follows me and we both gaze up at the stars that were beginning to form in the darkening sky.

We lie there in silence, not saying a word. Not because we didn't want to but because we didn't have to. I watch how they faintly twinkle, as if greeting me, greeting the night as it falls upon us. After what feels like forever, I turn my head to look at Michelle, who does the same, causing our noses to virtually touch. It didn't feel uncomfortable being this close to one another, in fact it was the complete opposite, both physically and emotionally. She gently brushes a lock of hair out of my face and I watch her eyes as she does so. She was so calm, so soft, so caring. She had never given up on me... That was something no one had ever done.

"Don't you wish we could never go back?" I whisper and she meets her eyes with mine.

"You know I do." She responds, searching my face for any traces of pain she could try and erase. I watch as her eyes dart from facial feature to facial feature, taking everything in as if it was the last time she would see me. I prayed it wouldn't be, because sometimes when I was with her I felt I had to cherish every moment. I worried as much as her that anything could happen to me in my current state of mind. I was broken, but she made me feel whole again. She knew every single scar, every single imperfection on my body, but she considered them as parts of me. She had put up with me throughout all the death wishes, suicidal thoughts, moments I would just completely break down in front of her. It scared the life out of her inside, but she still never walked away; for reasons beyond my imagination because Michelle Connor could have the world, but somehow she chose me. She chose me and now she was staring straight at me, as if she never wanted anything else.

We knew every part of one another. She knew I would flinch when she touched my thigh because I had scars there. But I would still let her. I knew she would panic when I touched her neck because she used to pull her necklace too tight when things would get tough. She knew that I had to sleep on the right side of the bed because my mam told me that I would be cursed if I slept on the left. I knew that when she woke up in the night with nightmares, that I shouldn't say anything, just hold her as she falls back to sleep. She knew that when I became really low, the only food I could eat was salt and vinegar crisps and I knew that when she became extremely anxious, she had to listen to the lullaby that her dad had sang to her when she was a baby. We both knew that we took these weaknesses as strengths. It made us who we were and we loved each other for it.

I was never going to give that up. Never. Never, ever, would I let her go.


	11. Intoxicated

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Intoxicated:**

 **Michelle PoV**

"Chelle, you ready?" Liam yells from the hallway. I throw some items into a bag and hang it over my shoulder. He raises his eyebrows at me when I emerge from my bedroom.

"What?" I snap. I didn't like it when people judged me, without telling me their observations.

"Nothing, you just look grown up that's all." He shrugs. "Not like my little sister anymore."

"Yeah well she's been and gone." I sigh, checking my reflection in the mirror. Call me vain, but I did think I looked pretty hot tonight; I was wearing a tight red dress that showed plenty of my cleavage and my eyes were lined with smouldering black eye liner.

"Come on then." Liam grabs my hand. "Else mom and dad will come back and start interrogating you about where you're going."

"Where are you going?" Paul asks from behind us.

"Davie Tuttle's fourteenth." I tell him, flicking my black hair over my shoulder.

"House party." Liam adds. "You coming?"

"Davie Tuttle?" Paul scoffs. "That kid in the year below you Chelle? No thanks."

"Suit yourself." Liam shrugs, opening the door and stepping outside.

"Enjoy playing pass the parcel and musical statues." He shouts after us and Liam slams the door.

"It's gonna be shit isn't it?" I ask my favourite of my two brothers.

"It's a party, with alcohol." He reminds me. "What's shit about that?"

"OI!" A familiar voice yells out once we were outside the building and Liam groans at the realisation of who it was. We turn to see Carla running towards us, her white dress flapping in the wind. White. How ironic. Loose dark curls fall over her shoulders, being blown back in the breeze.

"That's our reputation ruined." Liam mutters before she reaches us. "To what do we owe this pleasure?" He greets her, sarcastically.

" _You_ get the pleasure of walking me to the party Leebugs." She grins.

"You were invited?" He pulls a face, despite the fact that she is looking absolutely stunning. In fact, I was rather annoyed that she was coming with us, purely for the fact that she was yet again upstaging me. Plus hanging around with Carla Donovan all night was, as Liam had mentioned, not going to give us the best reputation.

"No." She shakes her head. "Who needs invites ay?"

"I'm not smuggling you in again." He rolls his eyes.

"It's Davie Tuttle." Carla sighs, stepping between us and pulling us into a stride. "It's hardly a strip club."

"It will be with you there." Liam grumbles and she slaps him lightly over the head.

"You got the vodi?" She asks him and he shoots her a look.

"Oh great so we're sharing that now are we?" He glares at her and I walk awkwardly next to them.

"Paul not joining us?" She pesters, as if afraid of a silence between us.

"Twenty questions with you today isn't it?" I finally chime in.

"Oh good I was wondering when you were gonna pipe up." She grins at me, flicking her hair back off her shoulders.

"No, he's not coming." Liam crushes her hope with a great deal of satisfaction. "Says it's gonna be shit."

"How can it be shit with me there?" She giggles and he rolls his eyes again at me.

When we arrive at Davie's house, the place was already buzzing. It wasn't difficult to get in, people had clearly had pre-drinks and so weren't too bothered about who was invited. Liam soon deserted us as soon as we arrive and goes off to find his mates, so I am left with Carla, who clasps my hand in hers and drags me towards the kitchen.

This was a time when I especially did not want to hold hands with her, because I was actually going to attempt to pull tonight... And fail at it all the same. I was concerned people stayed away from me because they do think I'm in a relationship with her, or maybe it's just me...

Carla gets straight to pouring shots as soon as we enter the kitchen, from someone else's bottle which doesn't seem to bother her. I knew I was going to end up getting splattered so there was no point in trying to stop Carla from shoving the shots down my neck. As much as I loved her and I _did_ love her, I was desperate to get out and socialise with other people, so I was relieved when she is dragged off by some sleazy adolescent who is waving a spliff in her face.

I pour myself a glass of the pear wine which I had brought with me, feeling awkwardly out of place by drinking such an elegant drink. I peer around me, leaning up against the cooker, instantly regretting letting Carla go because now I really was alone.

I take one look down the corridor at a ton of people I didn't know, or didn't care to speak to. Instead, I slip outside, the cool air hitting me hard. There were very few people out here and it was a refreshing change. My eyes fixate on Rob, who is leaning up against the wall smoking a fag. I approach him cautiously, trying to judge what state he was in before I made any sort of conversation.

"Hey." I greet him and he looks up suddenly, trying to hide the look of excitement that fills his face. "Can I have some of that?"

He takes another drag before passing me the cigarette and I inhale it slowly, releasing a cloud of smoke into the night air.

"Didn't know you were coming." He tells me as I pass it back to him.

"Could say the same to you." I smile. " _And_ your sister."

"She wasn't even invited." He shakes his head. I could tell he had already drank quite a bit because he was slurring his words slightly.

"Billy no mates tonight are we?" I take another drag of his cigarette.

"Well surprisingly very few of my mates wanted to come to Davie Tuttle's party." He raises his eyebrows at me.

"Oh so you do _have_ mates then?" I grin and he shoots me a look. He doesn't move his gaze from mine for a while and I am forced to look away to prevent an awkward silence. We're both laughing then though and I think that's what gives him the sudden confidence to lean in and kiss me.

I drop the fag on the floor before our lips touch and I sigh, placing my hand on the back of his head. This was not what I had in mind by 'pulling' but I would give Rob the satisfaction all the same. He had wanted this for ages anyway.

After about a minute I pull away and he is looking at me, bemused and shocked that I had actually returned the kiss.

"Ok..." He grins, wiping his mouth slowly and I shove him backwards lightly.

"Hope you enjoyed that Robert." I tell him, before awkwardly coughing and winking at him as I turn my back and walk away. I could feel his eyes on the back of my head. Maybe that was a stupid move because I could virtually feel his longing growing stronger. But it had given me the boost to continue the party and I step inside, guilt and excitement on my mind.

I work my way through the crowds of people, searching the faces of students that I could talk to without lowering my popularity status.

"Oh sorry!" I apologise as I bump into someone walking relatively fast and carrying a can of beer. I focus my eyes and they rest on Dean's, who smiles at me, warmly.

"Sorry... Oh hi Chelle." He greets, and hesitates before beckoning me to follow him. He leads me into the lounge, which is a bit quieter and we find a spare sofa to sit down on.

"I didn't know you'd be here." I start up a conversation, trying to act as casual as possible. It was true, I wasn't expecting someone like Dean to be slumming it at a fourteen year olds birthday party. But then again, it was a party and therefore everyone on the estate would have heard about it.

"Ditto." He replies and then cringes. "...I never say that."

"It's fine." I laugh, glad of the company. "I just thought you know... Davie Tuttle... He's a bit of a pathetic loser..." I try to come up with the best insult ever and fail.

"He's my cousin." Dean responds, with a serious expression and I suddenly feel my heart stop beating in my chest. Shit. Oh shit. I'm going red. Help.

"I... um..." I stutter, apologetically and then his face breaks into a smile.

"I'm kidding Chelle." He punches me lightly in the arm. "I agree, I'm just here for the party and free booze."

A wave of relief washes over me and I suddenly feel incredibly angry at him. I hated it when people did that, Carla did it all the time and it made me feel completely gullible.

"Don't do that!" I try and yell at him but he's laughing now and so my face creases into a smile. "Seriously, that's not funny!"

"A little bit." He grins and I slap him lightly. Never in a million years did I think I'd be sitting alone at a party with Dean. This was insane. However I was pretty sure my confidence had been boosted by the four shots I'd crammed down my neck before bumping into him. We're both lost for conversation then and we sit in a comfortable silence whilst he sips his drink. He offers me a can but I shake my head. "I heard Carla's fight went well."

"Which one?" I smirk even though I knew he was implying the one that had been initiated the night we were in the pub. "But yeah it did, as ever... Just to boost her ego a bit more."

"Yeah well I wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of her." Dean shrugs.

"I don't even know how I am on the right side of her." I gaze off into the distance. "...Something just clicked I guess. But I don't know, it's not like I have anything that special that she must be drawn to."

"I could argue with that." He replies quickly and I turn my head back to look at him before he gives a slight cough, tipping his can up to shield his face for a few seconds. I can't help but smile... Was he flirting with me? "Anyway..." He covers, flicking the metal pull on the can a few times. "She's a tough one her. She'll be ok."

"Mmm." I just mumble, knowing that was all just front. She was strong and she was tough, but under all that she was just a lost little girl. Confused as hell about how life had lead to here. But I don't tell him this, that's for only us to know. It was our secret.

"When are you next going to be going down the quarry?" He changes the subject swiftly.

"I was there the other day actually." I inform him, but didn't tell him when or where. "...Why hoping I'd be up for round two ay?" I wink, giggling.

"Well I was hoping I wouldn't have to wait that long for round two Chelle..." He whispers and that stops my giggling. I freeze, locking my eyes with his to see if he was joking. He pauses, checking whether I had registered what he was implying and then moves in, hand pressed against my cheek. His kiss is so gentle, so soft, so genuine. I've never felt anything like it. I've never felt anyone appreciate me as much as he is now. My tongue builds up a steady rhythm against his as it begins to get more intense. I have never known what real passion feels like; it feels as if a thousand fireworks are exploding on my tongue. As if a million butterflies have been set free in my stomach. It feels like fire. Heated but refreshing. Our breathing has become ragged so he pulls away. I stare at him intently for a few seconds, trying to catch my breath and steady my racing heart before he reaches for my hand and pulls me up. My head is spinning. I'm beyond bewildered. I can make out the shapes of people who are pointing at us in disbelief. Shocked? Amused? Maybe they were just confused. But either way, Dean was pulling me gently up the stairs and for some reason I followed him. Against my mother's advice. Against everything I had ever been taught. He pulled me into the bedroom and closed the door behind us.

He asked if I was scared. I was. I was terrified. But when he had told me he would be gentle, I was lost. Lost in him. Lost in a maze of inquisition, fear and excitement. I was one with him.

 **Carla PoV**

How am I yet again lying flat out on a damp, musty carpet, pissed off my head? Just your typical Saturday night for me. I knew I was drunk because I was lying here singing 'Wheels On The Bus' with some year nine kid who had been eyeing me up all evening. In fact, that's probably why most people had exited the room.

I lift the bottle of whatever the fuck it was to my mouth again, taking a deep glug and not bothering to wince at the bitter taste. I loved being wasted. The surge of excitement you get when you know you can do anything. The sudden confidence boost that allows you to say anything to anyone. The fact that you live in the moment because the past; even what happened five minutes ago, feels like it never happened. It feels like a dream. I feel invincible. I feel free.

"Get up." Liam suddenly orders and I see his face appear miles above mine, towering over me.

"Scuse me." I slur, rolling around on the floor and sloshing the liquid in my bottle everywhere. "I will not follow orders Leebugs."

"Have you seen Michelle?" He asks, panic in his voice. "I've looked everywhere."

"Well unless she has turned into a carpet then no." I drone, kissing the carpet as I do so. "Hello Mr Carpet."

"Stop being so childish." He huffs, holding out a hand to help me up. "I'm getting a cab now, find Michelle."

"I'm not ready to go yet." I groan, as I stand up, my head spinning, everything blurry. I cling onto Liam for dear life and he reluctantly catches me before I fall into the floor. "You tell that taxi driver, to turn around and go home... Because I..."

I forget the end of my sentence and droop down over Liam's shoulder as he holds me up. I felt shattered but alive at the same time.

"Bloody 'ell Carla, how much have you had?" He holds me at arms length, hands under my pits to support my weight.

"Do I really need to answer that?" I grin at him, observing every inch of his face as I did so. He looked concerned as well as annoyed and it overjoyed me that I could make him feel that way. His eyes were beautiful, a deep blue under the dim lights from the ceiling. My eyes fall to his lips which are only slightly parted, both to convey a look of curiosity and irritation. He notices me staring. He doesn't move.

However I do. Stupidly. Being the idiot that I am. I move in, pressing my lips against his.

But he pulls away.

After letting out a gentle sigh he retracts, before we've properly connected. It was barley a kiss. It was barely even contact. It was over so fast and I hated it.

"No, Carla." His voice is a lot softer now, almost patronising, as if he had undertaken the role of being my carer. I am not used to being knocked back. I am suddenly angry, both at myself and him for humiliating me. Despite the fact that I don't think anyone saw, we both knew and that made my blood boil. Sanity seeps back into my bones and I stare at him weakly before shoving him back aggressively.

Liam was strong, he didn't fall to the floor, he was just pushed up against the arm chair which he grabs onto for dear life. I clench my fists, so angry that yet another person had turned me away; made me feel so pathetic, so vulnerable.

"Carla." He sees the hatred in my eyes, which was something he did understand. He'd had to put up with me after all these years on the estate and he could tell when I was in breakdown mode. "No one saw."

His words freeze me. He knows exactly why I'm so angry. He feels it too. He feels what we can't admit; something that we will never, ever admit. He had to stop it for both of our sakes and he knew how much that hurt me. No one saw.

I have two options. I can run at him, beat him to pieces; release all my anger and feelings and emotions.

Or I could run away from him.

I take the second option and I'm out of the door without looking back. Except I'm not running away from him, because he's running after me. Yelling my name over and over as it echoes through the streets. The rain pelts down onto me but I don't care. I'm running.

The only problem with Liam is that he was in the cross-country team for four years.

His footsteps get louder, his breathing gets louder. I see his shadow in the reflection of a street light and before I know it his arms have been thrown around me and I am screaming, fighting him off. Tearing, biting, yelling like a wild animal.

But he doesn't let go. Unlike most people in my life he will not let go of me. He clings to me protectively until I eventually give in and sink down onto the glistening pavement, the damp of the tarmac seeping through my dress. I felt helpless and weak and empty and naked. I push him off me as I lie on my front, crying my eyes out, hammering the pavement with my fists. I can hear his soothing voice next to me, telling me it was ok. It made me even more angry.

"SHUT UP LIAM." I yell with all my might, sitting up to face him, makeup streaming down my face, my hair in wet, straggly tendrils. I was hoping maybe my appearance would make him run a mile but it didn't. He just sits there, not moving an inch.

He wasn't allowed to do that. Only Michelle was allowed to sit and watch me cry. Not Liam. Never Liam. I hated him. I had always hated him and I always would. I hated everything about him. I hated his witty comments and his gentle tone of voice, with the slight lisp. I hated the way his dark hair flopped over his forehead. I hated his serious blue eyes, the colour of the night sky. I hated the warmth of his skin. The strength of his arms. The shaven stubble that was ever so slightly visible around his jaw line. I hated the way he looked at me. I hated the way he talked to me. I hated the way he held me.

But at the same time. I loved it all.


	12. Regrets

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Regrets**

 **Michelle PoV**

I wake up in my own bed. I don't know how and I don't know why. But what I do know is that I'm aching, everywhere. My head feels as if it's split in two and I have a surging feeling in my stomach. I was going to throw up. Now.

I race to the bathroom and flip the toilet seat up before chucking last nights remnants into the basin. I felt like pure shit. I had the sudden urge to check if I was on my period because I had intense abdominal cramps. Instead I slope down against the wall, pulling the chain hard and burying my head in my hands.

That's when I remember. I remember because I feel like an idiot. I feel dirty and I feel weak and I feel used.

I'd had sex with Dean last night.

"Ughhhhh!" I let out a groan, rolling onto my side, just wanting to curl up into a little ball and hide away in the dark. Unfortunately someone hears me because there is a fist banging on the door in seconds.

"Michelle?" Liam yells and I try to block it out. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to hear anyone. I just wanted to be alone. "Michelle get out here now."

Shit. What if he knew? He was one of Dean's best friends. What if he had told mom? I would be screwed.

Deciding it to be the safest option I reluctantly stand up, legs shaking from the strain they had underwent last night. I slide the latch across and push the door open to face Liam.

To my surprise. It isn't the lecture I was expecting.

"Oh thank God." He lurches at me, wrapping me in a big hug which just makes me want to hurl again. "Dean said he'd walked you back."

"Dean?" I freeze; unaware of how hoarse and broken my voice was until now.

"Yeah, you disappeared; I couldn't find you all night." He frets, holding me at arms length. "I had to deal with Carla, get her home so he told me he would take care of you."

"Oh he did that alright..." I mutter.

"Ey?" He frowns.

"Nothing." I brush him away, heading back towards my bedroom. I was going to hide under my covers all day, try to salvage memories of last night in my head. I shut my door behind me and throw myself down onto my mattress.

I felt so emotional but I couldn't cry. I didn't have the energy to punch anything. I just wanted to lie there, eyes closed, all day long.

Memories slowly flood back to me. It was horrible. But at the same time it was exciting. It was something I couldn't make my mind up about. I remember crying out several times. Out of pain or pleasure was something I wasn't sure about.

"Mmm." I moan as the feelings run through my mind.

This was the most impure I had ever felt. After all the countless times I had listened to Carla talk about how amazing sex was, how deep and passionate and alive it made her feel. I didn't have quite the same reaction. To put it bluntly it had made me feel like shit. It made me feel embarrassed. Embarrassed? Ashamed. I should feel relieved... Maybe I did... But maybe I just wanted to skip back to twenty four hours ago when I was an innocent child rather than a matured woman. Because that's what it felt like. It felt like overnight I had changed completely. I had grown up in a single night of bewilderment. I wanted my childhood back and I wanted it now.

"Michelle! Get ready for church please." My mother calls out and the words take a second to sink in. Church? Why today of all days were we going to church? Granted, it was a Sunday. But we only went a couple of times a year.

Right now I was not feeling the vibes of walking into a church. I wasn't even in the right state to be walking out of the door, never mind a place of worship. I needed to see Carla. She was the only person I wanted to see right now. She was the only person who would understand. I just wanted her to hold me and tell me it would be ok. That I hadn't done anything I would regret.

"Michelle?" Paul storms into my room and I sit upright, my tummy somersaulting as I did so.

"AY!" I yell at him. "I could have been naked, get out you pervert!"

"Well it's a good job you're not then isn't it?" He snaps. "You gonna tell me what happened last night?"

"No." I scoff, as if I'd tell Paul anything. He was the last person on Earth I would want to talk to.

"Right, well get ready for church." He sighs, clearly not equally in the mood for a family outing.

"I'm not going to church." I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Why?" He spits.

"Um, because I don't want to?" I sass, making him angrier.

"And you think I do?" He rolls his eyes. "Look I don't care. Sit around being a lazy cow all day if that's what you want. But you take it up with mum."

He slams the door in my face and I fall back on my pillows. There was no way I was going out with my family in the state I was in. Instead, I slowly rise, my limbs aching. I pull a jacket out of my wardrobe and slip a pair of boots on. I could hear raised voices in the hallway so there was no way of escape out of the front door.

Plan B. I pull my window up before stuffing my pockets with a few quid out of my piggy bank, a tube of foundation, mascara, a packet of jelly beans that were on my desk and a clean pair of underwear before I climb out of my window onto the trellis that hangs down the wall to the first floor. The flowers were wilted and rotten by now but it made good material for an escapade. My legs could hardly move they ached so much. What the fuck had Dean been making me do last night? A yoga workout?

I jump the remaining two metres and land flat on my feet. I'd had practice at that. Then I turn the corner and head off to East Block, a lot less fussed about being there today than I'd ever been. I just needed to see my best friend.

 **Carla PoV**

"Rob get the flaming door will ya?" I yell, trying to cover the dark circles under my eyes with some shitty concealer I'd taken that was a tester from Boots. I hear him get up off the sofa reluctantly and make his way through the hall. It was most likely George, hung-over and without a key. No wonder he was bashing the door down.

"It's Chelle." He informs me, loudly and I practically jump up from my bed. "And she doesn't look good."

"Cheers." She gives him a weak smile as I open my bedroom door. Rob takes the hint and leaves us to it. He was right though, she didn't look good. She looked as if she could burst into tears any second.

"Hey." I smile at her, breathlessly. Her mascara had run down her face from last night, her hair was a mess and she was still in her pyjamas. "I was worried about you." I am not afraid to tell her. She looks shattered, like she could collapse at any second. I move towards her without further hesitation and wrap her in a hug. I could feel her shaking, she was terrified and I didn't know why. "Baby, you're freezing." I rub her arm to warm her up and then lead her into my bedroom closing the door.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go." She mumbles, lip trembling. I sit her down on my bed as she always does with me and kneel down to her level. Surprisingly, she's not crying. She just looks shocked, petrified. Suddenly a horrible thought crossed my mind.

"Has someone hurt you?" I raise my voice slightly, squeezing her shaking hand that's cold as ice. She doesn't respond which worried me even more. "Chelle? Stop shaking sweetheart, it's ok I promise."

But she won't, she looks as if she's having another panic attack. She hadn't had one in years and this worried me more than ever. She raises a hand to her mouth to try and steady her breathing and she finally makes eye contact with me, steadying her gaze with mine.

"I don't..." She stutters. "I don't know... I just... Please just hold me Carla, please."

I don't need telling twice because she has slid off my bed and onto my lap, her head resting beneath my chin. I sit with my back against the metal framework of my bed and rock her gently from side to side, soothing her as she shakes in my arms. I can feel her heart pounding in her chest. Her breathing slowly steadying as our gentle movement calms her. I don't question her further. I know not to do that. "You're safe I promise." I whisper into her hair, which is what I know she wants to hear, because it was true. When she was with me I wouldn't let anything happen to her. She was my best friend, my little sister, my rock. She came before anyone else and that would never ever change.

She doesn't move for a very long time. My left leg is completely dead and something in her pocket is digging into my side, but I don't care because slowly, she is calming. Her shaking decreases and she just becomes numb in my arms. She clings onto my sweatshirt as if it is a life jacket. It's then that I hear her muffled whimpers and I know she's finally crying. It comes as a relief because I would much prefer tears than panic. I place a kiss softly into her hair and breathe in the scent of her shampoo.

After what seems like an eternity, she removes her grasp and lifelessly moves away from me, sitting in a broken heap on my carpet.

"Hey you." I place a finger lightly under her chin and she raises her head to look at me. "Time to talk? Who do I need to go beat up?"

"No one." She musters a slight smile, shaking her head in the process. "I'm just being silly."

"I doubt that." I tell her as yet another tear escapes her eye. "...What is it Chelle?"

She opens her mouth a few times before burying her head back into my hands.

"It's really pathetic and stupid and minuscule." She frets and I reach out to take her hand, squeezing it to show that I was listening.

"I don't care." I virtually whisper.

"...Last night." She hesitates and I nod. "...I had sex with Dean."


	13. The Morning After

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **The Morning After:**

 **Michelle PoV**

I'm expecting her to burst out laughing. That's what she would usually do. I wait for her to call me pathetic or kick me playfully or tell me to grow up. After all, this was Carla; sex probably meant nothing to her.

But to my surprise. She doesn't. She doesn't laugh and she doesn't tease and she doesn't insult me. Instead, she looks into my eyes and lets out a slight sigh. Taking my other hand in hers and linking our fingers. She nods, genuinely, seriously and suddenly I feel relieved.

She watches the confusion and hurt on my face. She studies me as I try to work out her expression. I finally muster the courage to open my mouth again.

"...I don't know what..." Is all I can mutter before I'm crying again and I'm crying and crying and crying and she pulls me in. Yet again holding me so close to her because she knows how secure it makes me feel. Makes us feel. We feel protected. We feel safe. I finally realise that she understands what I mean and how I feel. All my emotions can be shared with hers and it lifts a weight from my shoulders.

She breaks away before I am ready to let go, but purely because it's not a very comfortable position for either of us. Instead, she pulls me up and without saying a word, lays me down on her bed, lying next to me and then gently moves my head to rest on her chest. I move in closer, my need for warmth and comfort intensifying. She slides her hand beneath my body and rolls me closer to her, her hand resting in my hair where she massages my scalp. I link my other hand with hers, over her chest, where we can both see them connected, fingers entwined, as if we'd never let go.

Neither of us wanted to. I could lie there forever, her fingers playing with my hair, hearing her heart beat so steadily it was calming. If anyone saw us now, they'd think we were so far past the barrier of friendship that it wasn't visible anymore. But for us, this was normal. This is what we were used to, how we had grown up. This was us.

"I'm supposed to be at church." I whisper and she laughs slightly.

"So you came to the opposing place." She asks me and I nod softly. "I'm assuming your mother doesn't know you are here?"

"No one does." I mumble. "I hope they never find me."

"Oh trust me you wouldn't want to live here." She assures me. "Family from hell, constant rowing, cupboards are always empty... Apart from the odd bottle of something."

"I'm sorry, I'm being pathetic aren't I?" I sigh, finally feeling content.

"No." She replies bluntly. "...I remember it."

"I didn't think it would be like this." I tell her and she kisses my head lightly. "I feel... Horrible."

"I know." She responds. "How did it happen?"

"I was drunk." I sigh, wincing to try and recall last night's events. "He just suddenly came onto me; flirting on the sofa and everything. Then he dragged me upstairs... I thought... ' _Yeah I can do this'_. I thought it's what I had wanted for ages..." I pause and she feels me tense as I think about it. "He told me he would be careful but I don't know... Once he started I couldn't stop him."

"Did you tell him to stop?" She asks me, a slight aggressiveness to her tone as if protecting me again.

"No." I shake my head. "Because I was scared... I was so scared Carla... I just feel... Weak and lifeless and stupid. Really, really stupid."

"You're not stupid Chelle." She stops me, running her fingers through my hair. "You're human. You're just human... It's one of the scariest things a teenager has to go through."

"So you felt the same?" I'm slipping into my childlike persona now. We both did this when the other person was looking after us. I guess we never really got the chance to be children so it was how we coped with things.

"I was terrified." She admits and that was something Carla Donovan never, ever admits. She feels me freeze in her arms. "Yes Chelle." She laughs. "I _was_. I was terrified. But it wears off after a while. I promise."

"It hurts." I continue, memories reeling in my head.

"Only the first time." She reassures me. "The second time it still hurts a bit but after that it's just enjoyable."

"Well it didn't feel very enjoyable." I screw my nose up.

"It never is the first time sweetheart." She giggles at my grumpiness. "But once that's out of the way, it's fine."

"...It's not happening again for a very long time." I tell her and then look up to meet her eyes. She kisses my forehead and then looks back at me.

"Yeah yeah." She smiles. "Like I've never heard that before..."

 **Carla PoV**

"I don't want to go out." Michelle moans, sat crossed legged on the tattered rug on my lounge floor. Rob was slouched over the sofa, throwing a ball against the wall and catching it, clearly bored out of his mind.

"Well we have nothing in." I shrug, searching the kitchen for anything edible. There was a packet of dried nuts but somehow I didn't think they would fill us both.

"Well I'm not hungry." She argues, playing with the tassels on the rug, pulling her best sour expression.

"Well you need to eat." I tell her. "Have you had anything today?"

"Food hasn't been top priority." She mutters.

"You been kicked out?" Rob interrupts, bored of his throwing and catching game.

"No." She replies. "Although I probably will be soon..."

"No you won't." I roll my eyes.

"Why what've you done?" Rob's eyes suddenly brighten up, although I was sure he would not be so excited if he knew they real reason behind it. "Parents get annoyed because you managed to pull someone as attractive as me?"

 _Hold on. What?_

"Oh don't big your part up." Michelle rolls her eyes.

"Wait, you two..." My eyes dart from Rob's satisfied expression to Michelle's regretful one.

"We only kissed!" She exclaims and I suddenly burst out laughing. I'm stopped by the put out looks on both their faces and cough slightly to regain myself.

"...Nice." I nod, a massive smirk on my face and Rob looks as if he's about to beat me up. My best friend and my brother? I didn't know whether to laugh again or grimace.

"It was just a stupid, drunken mistake." Michelle sighs, looking back at the floor.

"Wow thanks." Rob sounds slightly hurt and I can't help but feel sorry for him.

"How come you didn't tell me?" I ask both of them.

"Well I had bigger things on my mind." She retorts. "Like Dean."

"Dean?" Rob screws his nose up. "You kissed Dean?"

"Well yeah..." Michelle gulps, exchanging an awkward look with him. "...and maybe... slept with him."

Rob covers up the look of devastation very well. I knew that he relied on Michelle at the quarry as they were the only two virgins in the group of us. Plus, I was pretty certain he had dreams of losing his virginity to Michelle, as she would to him.

"...I've run out of..." Rob suddenly rises from the sofa. "Bacci."

"Your tins on the-" I begin and then take the hint as he stalks off down the corridor. "...Well that told him."

"I didn't want him getting any ideas." She shrugs and then stands up, walking over to me. "...Do you think I was too harsh?"

"It's Rob, he'll get over it." I smile at her and she nods.

"Do you want to order pizza?" She suggests, diverting the subject before I start laughing again.

"Well no because I don't have any money and also they never come up here, scares the life out of them." I remind her.

"I've brought some money with me and we'll just go down to the first floor to collect it?" She suggests and I narrow my eyes, if someone was offering me pizza, I was taking it.

"Deal." I shake her hand jokily and she giggles, curling into my side. I wrap my arms around her warmly and we sway slowly. 


	14. Playing Around

**Love You Like a Sister:**

_**Thought that Johnny's perspective near the end is ironic, given Kate's sexuality in the modern day.**_

 **Playing Around:** ****

 **Michelle PoV**

It had been weeks since the party and everything had hopefully blown over. Dean had been very mature about the situation and surprisingly hadn't gone and blabbed to his mates, which I thought was what most guys did.

Carla was back to her usual grumpy self, having had a blip of compassion and was particularly put out because I hadn't agreed to come to the pub with her tonight. Instead, I was being dragged to my cousin Kate's party by mum, whilst my brothers got to slump on the sofa. I would have objected if I hadn't been asked to sing and if it meant I'd spend the night lost in song then I was there.

Aidan had invited Carla to his sisters party, against my mum's will, but she had already confirmed she wouldn't be coming. Instead, she was spending the night with Paul, probably kicking flowers or drinking themselves into oblivion, either way it was not going to be the most romantic of nights out and I was actually glad to be rid of them both for the evening.

I knock on the door of number three loudly, hearing music from inside. Kate answers it immediately and grins up at me. She was a pretty girl, with dark hair like the rest of us, in fact people said she looked a lot like me. She was probably the best behaved of us all but I suppose that was perhaps because she was the youngest. She was very protected by her dad, my uncle Johnny as was Aidan, hence why he wasn't one of the toughest kids from the estate. Considering they lived on here, they earned a decent wage and so were living better off than our family and definitely Carla's, so it made a nice change to step into their flat in comparison to my best friends.

"Hi Chelle!" She exclaims, clearly excited about the night ahead. It was going to be a very neutral party, with just a few of her school friends and then family.

"Hiya." I pat her on the head softly as a greeting and then she steps aside to let me through. Johnny was sat in his arm chair with a pipe as usual, whilst Aidan sat with his feet dangling off the kitchen surface. My mum was already here; busying herself in the kitchen.

"The star has arrived." Johnny mutters, not looking up from his paper. I can't tell whether it's sincere or not because he never seems to convey emotion. I force Aidan a smile, hoping to avoid him most the night if possible. Then again, I was pretty sure I would be alone, so his company may come in useful, as unappealing as it may be.

"Michelle dear, come and help me with the sandwiches." Mum calls me over and reluctantly go to join her. Johnny had really shelled out for Kate's birthday; three different fillings was like tea at the Ritz for us. I was hoping there would be leftovers so I could give some to Carla tomorrow, she was looking thin as ever at the moment and it worried me.

"So Michelle." Johnny finally looks up from his lap. "Aidan tells me you're still hanging around with Carla ey?"

"Yes." I reply bluntly. I had been hoping the subject of Carla wouldn't come up, but it seems it was a name that couldn't be forgotten.

"Unfortunately." Mum chips in, sighing to herself as she layered sandwiches up on a cardboard tray. I was pretty certain it had just been cut from a cardboard box. "There's no stopping that one."

"Hmm, so I hear." He nods out of the corner of my eye. "Aidan also tells me you might be... More than friends?"

I freeze and I feel my mother go rigid too.

"No." I deny, instantly, a lump forming in my throat, but my voice is shaky. I didn't know why because I had nothing to hide, it was the truth. It was obvious Aidan had just picked up on the events after the fight.

"Michelle?" Mum turns to me, shock woven into her expression. "What's he talking about?"

"Aidan, you little snitch!" I suddenly yell at him. "We were just playing around; he's just too gullible to believe it."

"What do you mean 'playing around'?" Mum raises her voice hysterically.

"It's just a stupid game! It's nothing, seriously." I object, my urge to punch Aidan's smug face in was intensifying.

"Not what she was saying." Aidan smirks.

"Why do you feel the need to tell your dad everything?" I spit at him.

"Oh trust me, I don't." He grins. "Just the things he'd find interesting."

"Does George know about this?" Johnny interrogates me in a gruff voice. He was good friends with George and I knew if anything, he was the last person I wanted making assumptions.

"No because it's not true!" I retort, slamming my fist down on the kitchen counter which makes Kate jump.

"Oh come on!" Aidan exclaims, a glint in his eye. "It's written all over her face. Surely you must have noticed Helen? They're always together, never letting go of one another, bunking off school to go kiss in the bushes. You've probably heard the rumours too? Everyone knows it!"

I throw myself at Aidan then, pushing him off where he was casually sat on the counter. His wide smile immediately changed to a look of worry, fear in his eyes. He was all talk, Aidan, weak as a baby. Without thinking I punch him clean across the face, blood spurting instantly from his nose. I hear Kate's screams as she sees what's happened. Johnny gets up instantly and runs to the scene, my mum in pure shock as she watched, terrified to the core at what her darling little angel was doing to her nephew. I pin him down as I feel Johnny's hands on my shoulders. I force my arm across his throat as he gasps for air.

"MICHELLE SINEAD CONNOR!" Mum screeches, holding Kate as she cried into her.

"COME 'ERE." Johnny bellows, pulling me up harshly by my arms and restraining me from lurching back at my cousin. I try to catch my breath, breathing heavily as I stare at Aidan who is reeling on the floor like a worm that has just been stamped on.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" I scream at him, fighting Johnny off. Once he has let go, I brush my hair out of my face, observing the scene around me. My breathing was still ragged, my eye stung from the black eye Aidan had given me when he attempted to fight me off. My arms were bruised from where my uncle had forced me up and my make up was a complete mess, not that it was the main issue right now...

Everyone stood in shock, with only Kate's sobs and Aidan's painful whimpers filling the silence. What had I done? Mom was staring at me, her mouth partially open. A look of both anger and bewilderment written over her powdered face. I glance down at Aidan, who is keeled over, one hand on his nose, another on his side where I had kicked him harshly before I had been removed from his body. He is gasping for air but still manages to make a final witty comeback; "the lengths you go to in order to protect your girlfriend." He chokes on his words, blood running into his mouth. "I thought she was the brutal one... Did you pick that up in the bedroom? I suppose it's good for her to have someone to love her, since no one else will."

Without thinking I run at him again but Johnny has me gripped by my arms.

"SHUT UP!" I scream, tears pouring down my face. Why was I so angry? I'd heard people say these things about Carla and me before and they never seemed to wind me up. I knew why, it was because he had said the words which would have stung through Carla's tough exterior had she been here and no one, ever dared say anything about her when I was around. "SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SHIT!" I am screaming and screaming and Johnny is dragging me away towards the sofa. I am thrown down onto it, kicking and screaming, everyone looking at me as if I had gone insane. Perhaps I had. Perhaps I was on the brink. I felt it.

I lie face down on the sofa, crying my eyes out, punching it with my fists. I could feel all the eyes on me, burning through my curled up form. I had given Aidan the satisfaction of pushing me too far. Right now I just wanted my best friend, but I knew that was something I would be far from getting right now.

"We need to get Aidan to the hospital." Johnny announces suddenly.

"...Um, yeah." My mum's voice was shaky. I finally sit up, making eye contact with the people who stand around me. The door bell suddenly rings out and it makes us jump. Shit, the party. I had officially ruined Kate's birthday, score Michelle. "Home. Now." She directs at me sternly, releasing Kate from her grip and she runs into her bedroom, slamming the door.

I know I have no choice. I pull myself up from the sofa, everything aching, seeing Aidan's pained but gloating expression shining up at me.

"Get rid of those guests Helen." Johnny orders and she instantly goes to the door to answer it. I hear a few mutters before my uncle turns to stalk over to me, leaning down so he was in my face. His breath was warm against my cheek, breathing the scent of smoke and mint imperials over my skin.

"I will not let you be a... A lesbian." The words hit me hard as he hisses them, his eyes level with mine. "Now, you ever, _ever_ , try anything like that again and I'm telling you now girl, you will wish you'd never been born."

I gulp as he moves away, tearing his eyes away from me to go and see to his son. This had got extremely out of hand. Never had I got this angry and it didn't help that it was around my family. I had lowered my expectations further than possible and I hated myself for it.

Mum hesitates before coming back into the room. She just gives me a disappointed glance before ushering me to get out the house. I obey her, not wanting to get myself into anymore shit. Damn I was in trouble now.


	15. Home

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Home:**

 **Carla PoV**

Despite the warmth of the duvet wrapped around us, I still felt cold. There was a draft blowing in from the window of the hotel that Paul had booked for us. It was hardly five star, but it was always an upgrade from what we had at home.

 _Home_. If I could call it that. In fact I didn't even think I had a home. I didn't think I'd _ever_ had a home. I wonder if I ever would...

We have been lying in silence for about fifteen minutes, our heartbeats slowing after our moment of intimacy. Every time I had sex with Paul it felt more and more real. But there was still something missing, something I was lacking. But I had to do it, because when I feel my body against his, when my breathing quickens and my heart beats faster and my head pounds and I scream out to him. That's when I can finally feel alive. It makes me feel appreciated. It makes me feel like I'm worth something. I feel used and dirty and rebellious but at least it made me feel human.

The difference was, Paul didn't love me and I didn't love him. When he was inside me was the only time we truly valued one another. His affections didn't compare to Michelle's. The way she played with my hair, the way she held me, the way I could let my walls down in front of her. She knew me. Paul didn't.

"It's our Kate's birthday party tonight." He pipes up, clearing his throat. The sudden noise makes me jump slightly, had that really been what he was thinking about? Or was he just trying to strike up a conversation to save us from lying here rigidly?

"Oh..." Is all I can muster, lost in my own, more important thoughts.

"Our Chelle is singing too." He continues and it annoys me slightly that he hadn't taken the hint at my last response.

"So I heard." I reply, it was true, Michelle had mentioned it several times this week. All of which I had humoured her about because I didn't want to wreck her excitement, despite the fact it was a kids birthday party. "She hasn't shut up about it over the last few days."

"That's Chelle." Paul chuckles to himself. "Forever wrapped up in these pipe dreams she has of being a singer."

This irritated me slightly. Michelle and I discussed our ambitions regularly and it was something we rarely mocked. It was almost our therapeutic methods of surviving life on the estate; the Mancunian version of the American Dream. Although we knew it was highly unlikely that Michelle would become a popstar and I would own my own business, it was inevitable that we would have something to focus on to get us through our tough days. Paul slagging it off was not helping the unsociable vibes that connected us where we lay.

"Was she excited?" I finally ask, wanting to divert the conversation.

"Probably." He responds unenthusiastically, both aware that this conversation was among our least interesting ones. I just nod then, not bothering to communicate anything back. The silence is deafening with only the distant chime of a church clock signifying eleven pm. "What's going on with us?" Paul suddenly blurts out and my breath catches in my throat. Had he actually just asked me that?

"...Us?" I repeat, trying to avoid the question as best as possible.

"Carla." He whispers, rolling onto his side and it is the first time we make eye contact since our climax. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine... With how we are." I stammer, still unsure of what his question was actually implying. "Aren't you?"

"Yes but what are we?" He sighs, rubbing his eyes with his fist. They were bruised and battered from the fights he had been involved in, his skin dry and peeling at the end of his finger tips. "I don't understand; are we just sleeping together or are we in a relationship or what?"

"We're just... How we are." I look down, fiddling with my necklace which lies against my bare chest. "I don't see why that has to change."

"I need you to be honest Carla." He persists and I begin to get angry. Why was he pushing things? "You need to choose."

"Choose?" The word slips out of my mouth before I can stop it.

"...I'm not blind." He lowers his voice and the words but me hard. "Me, Liam, Chelle."

"What?" I suddenly yell at him, throwing my head upwards to see if he was serious. "Paul, what are you on about?"

"You can't keep stringing us all along Carla." He is virtually shouting too now as we both sit up, rigid in the bed. I wrap the duvet round me protectively, suddenly conscious that I was sitting naked in front of him.

"I'm not stringing anyone along." I respond, sourly.

"Ok so Liam... Liam's good looking, he's funny, and he's got that charm which just reels girls in." He begins to explain and I furrow my brow, what the fuck was he on about? "I see how you look at him, it's lust, it's how every girl looks at him. Michelle, she's just an experiment for you. She's sweet and she's innocent and she's easy to please. That's why you feel drawn to her."

"Drawn to her-" I try and object.

"It's just a typical teenage phase to wonder what it would be like to be with a girl... So I hear." He babbles on. "But what we have. It's deep, it's meaningful. This is something special, can't you see? The chemistry with us is something you will never find with anyone else."

Was he being serious? Had he actually just said that?

"Paul..." I say, weakly, still confused over what had just happened. "You couldn't be more wrong."

I only say what I am thinking. Surely he couldn't believe what he had just said. He must be aware that we were nothing but someone for the other to fall back on. Deep and meaningful? Our relationship was like a candle that wouldn't light. I never felt excited about being with Paul. I never got butterflies when he walked in the room, like I did with his brother and sister. But he was stable. He was just stable.

I notice his hurt expression, which signifies the realisation that he was deadly serious about what he has said. All of this was illegal. I was fifteen, he was twenty. It was hardly the structure of a 'deep and meaningful' relationship was it?

"I just mean that..." I mutter, trying to build something into the silence that rested on top of us. "That I don't want to take things too fast."

"Well that's fine." He nods, clinging onto any hope he has left.

"You know I don't do commitment." I sigh. "At least not yet anyway."

"Can I ask you something?" He continues, just when I think we have found some common ground. I freeze, because when someone says that to me, I know it's never going to end well. "...What is Chelle, to you, I mean?"

"She's my best friend." I already have this response prepared, it naturally slips off my tongue whenever someone asks me about Michelle, as if it's a reflex.

"I'm being serious, Carla." His voice is firm now and I slowly lift my eyes to be level with his. I hesitate, not because I don't want to answer the question, but because I didn't know myself. It was something I thought about every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to sleep. Yet I still hadn't found an answer.

"She's Michelle Connor." Is what I finally reply with. "She means everything to me."

"Everything?" He repeats and that's when I instantly know what the next question will be. "...Are you in love with her?"

It didn't come as a shock to me. In fact, it actually made me feel quite warm and relaxed to hear the words come out of his mouth. The long pause says it all, I hear him exhale slowly, placing a hand over his face again.

"I don't know." I suddenly whisper, which is my honest response. I didn't know. I didn't know what love was. I had never been loved by anyone, so when I was with Michelle it was the closest to that I had ever known. It was something so complicated that it made sense. But the truth was that I was so messed up and confused right now that I could convince myself of anything. I had no clue how my mind was working and I couldn't decipher what any of my emotions meant. I just knew that when I was with my best friend, I felt whole again. She completed me. "I honestly don't know how I feel about anything or anyone Paul."

I refrain myself from opening up to him. Even though right now I could easily talk forever. He wasn't worth me showing any weakness for.

"...You know, I don't think she knows either." He mutters, I don't bother questioning him further, even though I have no idea what he's going on about anymore. My head was spinning now, crammed with too many thoughts that I needed to lie in my own bed and contemplate.

I climb out of bed, no longer bothered about him seeing me naked. My hair falls loosely over my shoulders and is long enough to partially conceal my breasts anyway, although he still doesn't remove his eyes from me. I pull on my t-shirt without even putting my bra on first, ignoring Paul's stare as I find my leggings in our pile of rumpled clothes.

"You're going then?" Paul finally sounds and I turn to him once I'm dressed.

"Well I have to at some point." I remind him and he nods. "Besides, you wouldn't be able to afford a whole night booking."

"Thanks." He mutters, clearly upset that I'd hurt his pride, I did feel slightly bad after he had shelled out in order for us to have some time together. "So what's this? I pay the bill, we have sex, then you disappear?"

"I'm not a prostitute Paul." I snap at him, annoyed at his constant mood swings this evening.

"Not what I've heard some people say..." He says it under his breath but I still hear him. Really? People said things about me all the time that I couldn't give a shit about but the fact Paul Connor believed them was the thing that bugged me.

"Yeah well book _them_ next time then." I spit, collecting up my things. "They'll probably be better company; less baggage, more experienced, maybe they'll even make you cry out like I never could."

"Carla, don't-" he begins but I wasn't finished.

"Off you go then, go find some girl who's better than me ey? Because I'm telling you now Paul, you're looking really desperate slumming it with me aren't ya? I mean really lowered the bar, scraping the barrel, rock bottom in fact." I am close to tears now and have to fight them back. I don't even know what has triggered this, but I did always get overly emotional after having sex. It was like it set my hormones haywire. "Oh and by the way, yes, you did cum too early."

I slam the door quickly and stomp off down the corridor, leaving him behind to seethe in my hatred. A part of me wanted to turn around and go back in, tell him I was sorry, kiss and make-up before he took me back to bed. But I was done with tonight, I was going back to wherever 'home' was.


	16. Reunion

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Reunion**

 **Michelle PoV**

I emerge from my bedroom reluctantly, dishevelled and embarrassed. Mum had few words to say to me when we got back last night and ended up just sending me to my room. I knew now that the news would have spread around the family and therefore the outcome would not be good.

"Ah she rises." I am surprised to hear Liam's voice as I enter the living room/kitchen and notice that no one is actually here apart from my brother, who is cooking something on the stove. Thank God, the lecture could wait a few hours. "How's the sore fist?"

"...You heard then." I croak, rubbing my eyes and slumping down on the sofa, staring intently at where he was standing in our connected kitchen area, his eyes focused on the frying pan.

"You thought the news wouldn't have spread?" He seems rather cheery although there are disappointed undertones to his voice. "You got off lightly, Aidan was discharged after an hour in A&E. Fractured nose, sprained wrist and a nasty bruise on his shin but apart from that he's still his same old self."

"Yeah except now he'll hate me." I add and Liam finally turns to look at me.

"...Why did you do it Chelle?" He sighs, sympathetically. He never was one to be angry at me, in fact, he was always the one who came to my defence, so I was pleased I had received the low-down from him.

"I don't know..." I shrug as I watch him plate up whatever he has finished cooking. It smelt good; a familiar smell, that relaxed me. "He was just winding me up and I lost it... I shouldn't have."

"Winding you up?" He laughs slightly. "He must have said something pretty harsh to make you do all that?"

"It was Carla..." I admit and I see a smirk appear on his face. "What?" I suddenly retort, aiming a cushion at his head but instead it just bounces off the kitchen surface.

"Shame your aim wasn't that bad last night." Liam jokes and I give him an evil glare. "I knew it would have something to do with Carla. Come on then? What did he say?"

I hesitate before opening up to him, which gives him the chance to hand a plate to me. It's then that I realise how starving I actually was; I had gone to bed without dinner last night and it was almost lunch time now. I stare down at my plate of eggy-bread, smiling slightly at how well Liam new me. It was my comfort food; he made it for me when I was ill or upset.

"...Basically Aidan's picked up on the rumours." Is all I manage to say before taking a bite of my food.

"Rumours?" He frowns slightly, which irritated me because it meant I would have to spell it out for him.

"About me and Carla..." I mumble, not lifting my eyes to his. "Aidan told his dad that Carla and I were... You know."

"No I don't know." Liam grins, clearly aware of what I was on about. If he didn't stop soon he was going to be my next victim.

"He got the wrong end of the stick!" I yell. "Then everyone was making assumptions and I just lost it ok?"

"In denial were we?" Liam taunts and I hate him for that. How come everyone knew how to push my buttons?

"Shut up." I snap at him, knowing he was just trying to get to me. There is a loud knock on the door and I freeze instantly. "Shit."

"Seconds up, I'll get the popcorn." Liam winks and goes to answer the door.

I stand and face the back wall, planning out what I was going to say to mum and dad, covering my face with my hand.

I am suddenly relieved that it's not my parents. In fact, I'm even more relieved that it was the person I needed to see most.

I know it is Carla by her heavy footsteps as I hear her running up behind me. I spin around instantly and she virtually knocks me over, throwing herself at me affectionately and wrapping me in a massive hug.

"Nice to see you too..." Liam mutters, coming back into the living room after obviously being blanked by my best friend.

"Oh thank God." Carla pulls away, holding me at arm's length and observing me. "Lee told me you got into a fight. I was worried sick Chelle!"

She pulls me back in again, rocking me slowly from side to side.

"Who did that?" She moves away again, very softly brushing her finger beneath my black eye. I shiver at her touch and she thinks it's because she's hurting me. "Sorry."

"You'll never guess." I grin at her concerned expression. "Aidan."

"Aidan?" Carla's expression immediately changes to a mixture of confusion and disgust. "Oh well if I knew it was a family domestic then I wouldn't have been tossing and turning all night."

"Aww." I smile, teasing her about the fact she cared and she bats me away as I kiss her lightly on the lips. I wasn't helping myself, Liam was stood right behind us, observing what looked like a lesbian couple being reunited, but I didn't even care.

"You should see the state he's in." Liam interrupts us. "Chelle gave him a good beating; he was in hospital half the night."

"Jesus Chelle!" Carla exclaims. "What did he do? Steal your foundation?"

"Haha..." I give her a withering look.

"Wouldn't you like to know..." Liam smirks. "Bottom line is Car; you shouldn't be here when our parents get back."

"Why?" She frowns, although I doubt she was expecting hearts and flowers from them anyway.

"Ok... Don't get mad." I warn her. "The reason I beat Aidan up was because... He lied to Uncle Johnny about us... Being... You know."

"No I don't know." She shakes her head at me.

"He's picked up on the fact that everyone thinks we're..." I stammer, rolling my eyes. "A couple."

"Can't imagine why!" Liam pipes up sarcastically and I glare at him. To my surprise Carla starts to laugh.

"Are you serious?" She grins at me and I nod slowly before she pulls me back into a hug. "Aww, Chelle you're so cute baby."

"Cute?" I screw my nose up. "He had everyone believing it Carla, even my mother. I was being judged for... What are you laughing at?"

"You!" She giggles, linking our fingers. "Getting worked up over it."

"What and you don't?" I ask.

"Do I ever care what people think? Ey?" She questions, she had a point. "Anyway, I'm quite offended that the thought disgusted you so much you had to lash out."

"Well it wasn't just that was it?" I defend myself. "He was taunting me and spreading shit about you. I wasn't having it Carla."

"Ohh, so you were protecting my dignity?" She grins, still finding this amusing.

"Protecting you." I shrug to try and make the words sound less cringey and the grin slowly fades to a sweet smile as she studies me carefully.

"Sweetheart." She shakes her head, virtually whispering the word and placing a kiss on my cheek before hugging me yet again. Liam gives an exasperated sigh before walking out of the room, bored of being a third wheel.

 **Carla PoV**

"I had an argument with Paul yesterday." I tell Michelle, my arm around her whilst we lounge on the sofa.

"What about?" She asks me, fiddling with the ties on her jogging bottoms.

"...Pretty much the same thing you beat Aidan up for." I mutter.

"You hypocrite." She grins at me and I slap her away lightly.

"It wasn't just that!" I object. "He was just being a general... Twat."

"Yeah well that's Paul." She reminds me and we sit in silence for a while as she leans her head on my shoulder. Feeling her close to me was building my courage. We both knew we needed to discuss what was going on and smooth it out properly.

"Chelle we need to talk." The words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them but I see her nod in response. I open my mouth to pour my heart out before the door suddenly opens. Helen and Barry storm up the hallway and into the living room as both Michelle and I jump up quickly.

It didn't look good. In fact, we had made it look worse. Her playing with her hair and me dusting my clothes down, clearing our throats in preparation. They had seen us get up, so it looked like we were doing a damn sight worse than we actually were.

"Get out." Helen snaps at me.

"Helen, don't." Barry places his hand on her arm.

"Hello to you too." I roll my eyes, which annoys her even more.

"Let's not bother with pleasantries Carla." She spits. "I told you to leave."

"Why?" Michelle suddenly raises her voice.

"Because she's the cause of all this!" Helen screeches. "She's turning you into a... She's just brainwashing you Michelle."

"Well I'm sorry I can't be your perfect little girl all of the time." Michelle shouts. "Carla's my best friend, she means everything to me, I'm not going to give that up because of some stupid rumours or you constantly wanting to control my life."

"Ok, Michelle, calm down." Barry soothes her, becoming the peacemaker of this situation.

"You're the reason that my nephew is battered to pieces right now." Helen hisses at me.

"Oh please!" I laugh, exasperatedly. "Your nephew is a nosy, annoying... So and so. He was just stupid enough to believe what everyone was saying about us."

"...So is it true?" She suddenly asks, in a more serious tone. There is a deafening silence that neither Michelle nor I wanted to break. _Shit_. Why was neither of us responding? I don't make eye contact with her; she's just stood frozen by my side. "Well?"

"...No." I finally manage to muster, as unbelievable as it was and I receive an array of raised eyebrows.

"You expect us to believe that?" Helen stammers.

"Well you're the one who wants to believe it." Michelle retorts. I know it's just a spur of the moment remark but I see their faces fall instantly. They had driven her to say something stupid.

"Get out." Helen murmurs and at first I think she's talking to me, until I notice her staring straight at my best friend, anger in her eyes.

"Helen." Barry scolds her but she is shaking her head.

"No." She objects. "She's disgraced us these past few days."

"She's our daughter." He reminds her before Helen turns on her heel and storms off down the corridor, slamming her bedroom door like a moody teenager.

"Dad..." I hear Michelle's lost voice. It pained me to hear her voice so sorrowful, so broken. Especially as most of this was my fault.

"Just give it a night ey Michelle?" He apologises. "I'll talk to her, sorry darling."

He walks off down the hallway to tend to Helen and that's when we finally look at each other. There were tears in her eyes, which she had desperately been trying to hold back.

We don't embrace each other until we are out of the flat. I wait patiently as she packs her bag, throwing everything she needs in for a few nights just in case she's lodging at mine for longer. She doesn't bother saying goodbye, she just slams the door.

We walk in silence out of her block, I follow her, watching her as she walks stiffly, confused. It's only when we are out of the building and reach the patch of grass where we used to play catch that she breaks.

I'm immediately at her side. She throws her bag on the floor and cries her eyes out, thoroughly shocked at her parents reactions. I reach my arms out and wrap them tightly around her shivering body.

"It's ok." I shush her as she slowly begins to slide down onto the grass and I join her, rocking her forwards and backwards as we sit in a heap on the floor. "Everything will be ok, I promise." 


	17. Breaking the Barrier

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Breaking the Barrier:** ****

 **Michelle PoV**

"Dump your stuff, I'll see if anyone's in." Carla tells me and I try and fail to find a hygienic area to place my bag down. "Rob? Mam?"

"What?" Rob moans, coming out the bathroom with a hand held to his head.

"Hangover?" I try and muster, which is the first thing I have said since we arrived at the flat. He immediately spots me and dusts himself down, spiking up his hair slightly to give it more volume.

"Didn't know you were coming..." He mutters.

"Evidently." I nod.

"Anyway, why should she need your blessing?" Carla teases him, trying to lighten the mood. "She's gonna be staying here for a while anyway so get used to it."

"...Optionally?" Rob screws his nose up, observing the dirty flat which was a complete state. I swear it hadn't been cleaned or tidied in years.

"I'm sure you won't have a problem with it." She flashes him a smile and he just glares at her. "Where you off?"

"To see dad." Rob shrugs, pulling his cap over his greasy hair.

"Why you going to see yer dad?" I frown, Rob and I were half siblings; his father went by the name Baylif, whereas I never knew my dad.

"Better than being in this dump." He informs me, throwing a rucksack over his shoulders.

"You're not heading up to the Northern Quarter on your own surely?" I question, despite the fact that I knew 'danger' was Carla and Rob's stand-in surname.

"When you're a tough, fit guy like me Chelle, you can do anything." He winks before walking past us, placing his hand on the door. "Oh, Carla feed the fish will ya? I just feed it cornflakes 'cause we ran out of fish food ages ago."

"Well why can't you-" She starts before he slams the door in our faces. Carla gives me an exasperated look as she heads into the living room.

"The fish?" I decide to start a topic before she does.

"Rob's goldfish. He got it a few months back. Won it at that summer fete." She tells me.

"And it's still alive?" I ask, surprised and she nods at me, looking pretty shocked at the fact too.

"Yeah, won't last much longer though." She sighs. "Poor little mite. Anything brought into this family should be shot to put it out of its misery."

"What's it called?" I continue, trying to divert her from going all suicidal on me.

"MC." She sniggers.

"MC?" I frown. "What like a DJ or rap star?"

She studies me carefully for a few seconds before rolling her eyes. "Can you keep a secret?"

"I think we've proved that Car." I smile at her and she hesitates before leaning right in, her lips brushing my ear.

"It's your initials." She whispers and my mouth falls open instantly.

"What the?" I gasp, not being able to stop myself from letting out a laugh. "Are you serious?"

"Yes!" She grins. "But I didn't say anything ok? Because he would kill me if he found out I'd told you."

"Well... At least someone wants me." It's meant to be a joke but it comes out shaky and hurt.

"He's not the only one." I'm shocked by Carla's response as she turns to circulate the living room. She suddenly realises what she's said and covers her mouth with her hand. "I mean... Dean... He seems to be into you."

I'm just grinning at her now, probably looking like an idiot but she mimics it, bowing her head to look at the floor and I can tell she's blushing from how her hair falls over her face.

"And me." She finally admits, so quiet I hardly catch it. But I do and for some reason it makes me feel so warm and happy that all the emptiness inside me disappears.

"Ehem..." I try and break the silence that stands between us. It was my turn to say something now. "Earlier..." I hesitate before letting the words slip out of my mouth. "You said you wanted to talk."

"Yeah..." She hasn't moved her head from the rotting carpet, scuffing her feet against it nervously. I had never seen her like this before; like a lost, confused little girl. Even when she cried or yelled or hurt herself... She never looked like this.

I decide there is no point in talking. Suddenly the words are dried up. We both knew what they were anyway and neither of us were brave enough to say them. I take a deep breath before moving forward, keeping my eyes focused on her. She thinks I'm going to hug her when I reach her, but I don't. I place my finger lightly under her chin and move her head gently so that she's looking me in the eyes. We stand there for a while, just looking at each other, reading the things we could never put into words.

Then I kiss her, softly as ever. She returns it, romantically, placing her hand over so slightly onto my cheek so that we were connected. I'm suddenly so lost. But it was a good lost. I wanted to be lost here forever and never found. Because sometimes when you lose yourself, you've actually found your home.

We break suddenly, before we start to build. I needed to check this wasn't just a spur of the moment thing. I tilt my forehead against hers so that we were still so close I could feel her breathing on my skin. She reaches out and brushes a lock of hair behind my ear and for the first time, she's actually being serious. She's looking at me intimately as if it's real, not some stupid game we were playing. That's when I finally figure out all the guilt and loss and anger that has been building inside of me. It drains out, emanating off me as it is from her. She closes her eyes and leans against me, so comfortable in our embrace.

"Come to bed with me." I whisper and she meets my eyes, shocked.

"Chelle, you don't have to do that." She shakes her head.

"I want to." I confirm. "Just... Don't hurt me."

I immediately feel stupid for saying it, implying it not only physically but emotionally too. But she isn't laughing, instead she lets out a sigh, kissing me a few more times before looking back into my eyes.

"It's me." She whispers. "I would never hurt you."

Carla PoV

She pushes me forcefully onto the bed, as it creaks beneath us, it was on its last legs anyway. I let her lead, as she pushes herself on top of me, running her hands through my hair. I had never kissed her like this; it was so weird, we had always prevented ourselves from going this far. This was breaking the barrier. The barrier that we had never understood that separated being friends, sisters or lovers.

I run my fingers up and down her arm, her skin silky soft. She doesn't flinch at my touch, so I grip her harder, testing the waters. I didn't want to treat her like a fragile object, not when this meant so much to us. She suddenly pulls back and I worry I've done something wrong before I notice she is just catching her breath. Our breathing is ragged and her chest pulsates on top of me. She is unsure, I can tell that, she's scared to make the first move.

"You ok?" I whisper, breathlessly and she nods, so I take the liberty of moving her over, so that I am now on top of her. I knew she wanted me to show her what to do. She had only ever done this once and had been drunk at the time. I kiss her again, our tongues colliding. Warmth encasing us. She places a hand on the side of my face as she moves in stronger. I decide that she is ready and move my hands to the buttons on her checked shirt.

I trace my fingers lightly up and down her thigh and she exhales loudly. I move myself so I'm between her legs and then press down on her, kissing her intensely. Her hands suddenly grip my arm and I take it as a sign that she wants more. She presses her spare hand to my chest, moving it beneath my t-shirt and searching for skin. The moisture from her palm is warm against my flesh. I fit my hand round her neck, lightly moving her head forward to meet me.

"Carla." She gasps and I was suddenly concerned she may already be reaching her climax, when we hadn't even started. I conceal her within me, moving my hand from her leg to her underwear, glad she was wearing a skirt. "Carla." She says again, but this time it's weaker. I remove my hand from the hem of her skirt as she falls limp beneath me.

"Hey?" I suddenly pull back, staring into her eyes. She looks terrified, releasing her hand from where it was trapped between us to pull my hand from her neck. "Chelle... Baby?"

There's fear in her eyes as I release her from my grip and I can tell she's trying with all she's got to keep it together. She raises her hand back to her neck and that's when I notice how much she is shaking. I pull myself off her as she bursts into tears, remembering that she doesn't have to be strong in front of me. I instantly feel awful; I had come on too strong. I should have remembered that she didn't understand, I should have remembered why she doesn't like to be forced upon. I should have known why she can't have people touching her neck.

"Oh Chelle I'm sorry." I sigh, trying to regain myself so that I can sit up. I carefully pull her closer to me, cradling her in my arms. "I'm sorry sweetheart."

She's still shaking, completely overwhelmed by what had just happened. A hand is clasped over her mouth, which is disabling her from breathing properly. She was having another panic attack. I'd pushed her over the edge.

"Hey, hey." I sit her up straight against the headboard, making sure that I'm not making too much physical contact apart from resting a hand behind her head. I wait as she pants, tears streaming down her face. I wished I could do more but I knew not to pressurise her when she was in this state.

I wait until her breathing is regulated and she has stopped shaking before I make another move. I am hasty to place my hand down on her leg but I need to give her a sign that I was going to wait for her.

"Sorry." Is what she finally mumbles and I shake my head.

"Don't be sorry." I tell her, taking the chance of holding out my arms and she doesn't hesitate before crawling into them. I wrap myself around her as she cries into me like a kitten scared of thunder. "It's my fault, I should have known. I should have remembered." She just shakes her head as I rock her back and forth, placing kisses into her hair.

I hold her until she has managed to pull herself back together. Slowly brushing the hair out of her face, cleaning the mascara smudges from under her eyes, kissing her on the nose and the cheek and the forehead to show her that I wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm starving." She finally whispers and I laugh as she giggles.

"You've come to the wrong place if you want a banquet baby." I smile but take her hand all the same, helping her up off the bed. My plan was to let go once she was up but she clings onto it tightly so I just keep my fingers linked with hers and lead her out of the bedroom. I only let go of her hand when we reach the kitchen and she stands awkwardly against the counter. I grin at her, before placing a finger under her chin and gently lifting her head to kiss her. Then I place my hands under her armpits and lift her with ease onto the work top. That was the perks of having a best friend who was shorter and lighter than you.

I walk away from her, pulling the cupboard doors open, scrunching my nose up at the lack of food. There was half a packet of cream crackers, a tin of tomato soup and a pot noodle. It was slightly embarrassing having so little in. But mam never bothered to go shopping anymore so it was just bits we picked up along the way.

"Uh..." I groan, slamming the doors closed and spinning round to face her. "Chippy tea?"

"Mmm." She nods and I walk towards where she is sat, bowing my forehead so it was leant against hers. We didn't need to say anything, we just needed to stay there, content in each other's company. But this was the wrong place...

I take her hand in mine and she follows me without question. I wrap her up in one of mam's old duffel coats that she never wears and I pull a hoodie on. I was sure we would need it in the winter night.

She knew where we were going. She could tell before we even left the house, out of the estate, through the grassy meadows, under the starlit navy sky.

Until we reach the edge of the quarry and we stare out into the lights of Manchester, glowing invitingly in the distance. I don't know how long we stand there, just by each other's sides, thinking exactly the same thing.

"...Who thought we'd ever be here ey?" I whisper linking my fingers with hers and placing our hands against her chest.

"Well... Quite a lot of people." She muffles. "Except for us."

"So what happens now?" I dare to ask, unsure of what I even wanted. Half of me thought that the whole thing was just a moment of bewilderment, but another part thought this was maybe what I had wanted all along.

"I don't know." She sighs. "But what I do know is that you're my best friend and you always will be."

"Chelle... You know I love you like a sister?" I say to her, although given the circumstances, it was probably the wrong wording to use...

"I know." She nods. "You're like a sister to me too."

She bites her lip and that's when I finally know. I think we had just confirmed it for the both of us. I reach out and wrap her in a warm hug as she curls into my chest and we stare out at the scene in front of us.

"One day, we'll be away from here." I promise her and she finally turns to look at me. I can only vaguely make out her face in the night, but I can still tell that she is smiling. "We won't be living on that estate, with families who don't even know us. Waking up every morning and thinking _'how am I still here_ '? Going to bed every night thinking _'that's another day done_ '. Never wanting to go out because we're afraid of what the future holds. Never wanting to go home because the past will come back to haunt us... But we're so nearly there Chelle. The fight is almost over."

"Then we'll be out there." She points into the distance, where skyscrapers stand tall and street lamps glow and the warm buzz of traffic whizzes by. So many people, living so many different lives. Each one a different story. That no one else could ever understand. 


	18. Flashbacks

**Love You Like a Sister:**

 **Flashbacks:** **  
**  
 **Carla PoV**

"So... What happened after that?" Nick asks, as if he was an excited kid who didn't want to go to sleep after a bed time story. Steve on the other hand was snoring away, his head tilted back in his chair.

"Nice to know our story was so thrilling." I roll my eyes at Steve.

"Carla!" Nick exclaims, persistent to know the ins and outs of our childhood.

"Well we hardly got married did we?" Michelle laughs. "I don't think we'd be sitting here if we had... Well not with you two anyway."

"Well in that case I'm glad you didn't." Nick places a kiss on my forehead.

"Michelle got pregnant with Ryan soon after." I point out, even though she wasn't actually pregnant with Ryan, she was pregnant with a boy named Alex and they had been switched at birth. But it was a subject we never brought up.

"I got pregnant the night of the party." She corrects me. "Had a nasty scare a few months later when I took that test."

"Oh yeah I remember you telling me." I bite my lip. "...Like I said Nick we were young and experimental... Plus we couldn't ruin our friendship."

" _Plus_ I wasn't minted like Paul." Michelle adds. "So Carla ended up getting with him and I got with Dean when I found out about the pregnancy and well... The rest you know."

"Well... I could tell you stories about my childhood but I don't think Gail jumping around the house singing pop songs is quite as interesting." Nick chuckles, putting his arm back around me as I lean back into him.

"Sounds like a close competitor." I smile up at him and he kisses me lightly on the lips.

"Oi!" Michelle shakes Steve, aware that it was getting very late now.

"Karen?" Steve suddenly wakes up, bemused and Michelle shoots him a vicious glare.

"That's the second time this year you've done that!" She slaps him lightly as he comes back into focus and I'm trying hard not to laugh by burying my head into Nick's shoulder. "Come on you, let's get home."

She rises, putting on her jacket and Nick and I follow suit.

"I'm just popping to the little boys room before we go." Nick tells me and I nod.

"Ohh, that might be a good plan." Steve points his finger at him, hauling himself off the chair, clearly wasted. We watch him stagger off, practically leaning on Nick before I turn back to my best friend.

"Well... That was an exhilarating evening of reliving the past." I grin at her as I stare into her eyes. They're the same eyes they were back then. The same glint sparkled in them as there was the many days we spent hidden behind the school gym or smoking in an alley way or sitting on the edge of the quarry. It was the same look she gave me the day we stared off into the distance. The day I promised her that life would get better.

It did. Here we were today. Living. Living life how I had promised her we would. Granted, it hadn't been a very smooth ride but we were both still standing and most importantly, we both still had each other.

"I do love you, you know." She tells me and as she does, she's that same headstrong, ambitious, caring fourteen year old that she was back then.

"I love you too." I smile, linking her hand with mine as I had done so many times. "I will always love you, like a sister." 


End file.
